


too mana problems

by emotionssuck



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bad Decisions, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Getting Together, I can't help it okay, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, So much angst, Soul Bond, Soulmates, also we stan kono, and a bit fluffy, bad choices, but nothing too descriptive, protective kono, some health issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:54:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28687449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotionssuck/pseuds/emotionssuck
Summary: Danny and Steve become soul bonded after taking a case on the ridge of the Haleakala volcano.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 60
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. This was over two years of work on and off and I'm honestly just glad it's finished. I pictured this taking place around seasons 5-6 but I never really mention the show that much. Also FYI I think I aged Grace a bit. In the fic she's probably in 8th or 9th grade, not canon-compliant whatsoever.
> 
> Also I seem to have a thing with writing for shows that have completely wrapped up.
> 
> Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction. I pieced together some real Hawaiian beliefs as well as what bare minimum research i did and google maps and lots of fiction to fill in the gaps along the way.
> 
> Comments and Kudos are much appreciated!
> 
> #blacklivesmatter

When he hears the ringing start on a Monday at 8:30 am he knows it’s going to be a long week. Danny scarfs down his toast and coffee when the McGarrett ringtone goes off. Too early to be just a check in, especially since Danny saw Steve less than ten hours ago.

“Hello?”

“Hey Danny, we got a case. I just got a call that a body was found on the Haleakala volcano.”

“Who found it?”

“I’m not sure, I got a vague call from the Governor and was asked to come see him right away. I guess I’ll be debriefed there but I’m assuming we’re gonna be heading out to the volcano within the hour.”

“Please tell me this volcano is out of order.”

“Out of Order? Danny it’s not a machine and the correct phrase is inactive and it’s cooled off for about 400 years so you don’t have to worry about melting alive today. Just come get me and we can go catch the heli and fly out there.”

“You’re not gonna be flying it right?

“No Daniel,” Steve says with the same tone that Grace uses when Danno has said something for the 25th time.

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you on the helipad in fifteen minutes.”  
+++  
The helicopter ride is fortunately uneventful. The crime scene however, is not. The body rests about midway down from the top of the volcano and it seems to have rolled for several yards. Danny studies the surroundings. No obvious trail markings from a vehicle, the only way in was hiking or maybe the way the team came. 

On the flight over Steve mentioned the body was found on one of the Hawaiian homelands. “It’s just a reservation, protected by the government. They’re allowing us access for the time being but we’re gonna be short staffed. The five of us,” Steve motions to himself, Danny, Kono, Chin, and Max, “and that’s it.”

“Are we allowed to talk to the Native Hawaiians?” Chin asks.

“We can’t make them, we technically don’t have jurisdiction here. But I think they will be cooperative. They did report the body and if it wasn’t us here, the FBI would have to come in and I don’t think the Natives would like that.” 

Now standing on the volcano, Danny, Steve, and Max are the only ones that surround the body. Danny can see Chin and Kono are talking with only one member of the tribe at the base. 

“Are outsiders even allowed to hike through this?” Danny asks, trying to piece this together. 

Steve looks down at the folder of documents the Governor handed him that morning. “They’re probably not welcomed but on the map, the homeland only has part of the volcano, National Parks has another and the government controls the rest for science and research I guess. Hikers probably trespass without realizing it.”

“Well gentlemen, my preliminary thoughts are that this man was not killed here, but rather dropped and rolled down a bit” Max offers.

Looking up to where the body might have rolled from, Danny sees a figure almost at the top of the mouth. Danny nudges Steve.

“Hey buddy, you see that person at your 2 o’clock?” for the split second that that left Danny’s mouth, Steve went into SEAL mode, ready to attack at a moment's notice, but he relaxes soon after seeing the figure near the mouth of the volcano. 

“That’s probably a member of the homeland, they can do whatever they want.”

Danny doesn’t respond to his comment.

“We don’t have jurisdiction over them. We are guests on this land right now and they have the right to move freely. They didn’t even have to call us to alert us that they found a body.”

“Hmm, maybe I’ll go talk to them, see if they saw something?”

“Are you sure about that Danny? You’re not always the greatest with the locals.”

“I promise I’ll be polite Steven.”  
+++  
The walk is farther than it looks but it has an appealing view. Even though Danny would never say that out loud. As he approaches, he realises that it had been a woman, older than his mom and he can’t believe she walked up here all by herself. Her gray hair is pulled back into a braid and her long faded green dress is loose fitting.

“Ma’am?”

She appears to be praying but glances up when Danny approaches.

“Excuse me for interrupting you, my name is Danny Williams, I’m with Five-O police task force, I’m a detective. We were alerted that a body had been found here,” he turns and points to Steve and Max that are clustered together around the body and in the distance, Danny could see Kono and Chin are walking up to them. “And we were wondering if you had seen anything or know of anything.”

“No, I’m sorry Detective Williams. I did not see it happen but I can tell you that it wasn’t here yesterday.”

“Okay, thank you. Um, as you can see I’m not from around here so I’m not too familiar with your traditions. If you don’t mind, may I ask you why you’re up here?”

“This area has a strong Mana so I came up just to meditate a bit dear.”

“Mana?”

“Yes dear, the balance of life,” she responds, about to go back to praying but spins abruptly back to Danny.

“May I take your hand?” And before Danny can respond, she has her hands sandwiching his.

“Oh honey, your Mana is all one sided. You have too much violence in your life and the gods won’t like that.”

“Too much violence? I think so too but my partner down there likes it and I gotta have his back.”

“Take this advice from me, you need more love in your life-“

“I have lots actually, I have a daughter who I love very much.”

“No, no sweetie. That’s a different kind of love. You need the love that can only come from the one person you can’t live without. The person that makes you feel complete.”

“Huh, Okay well I’ll try to work on that.”

“You better, you hear me Mr. Williams? You need to find the person you’re meant to be with, you need a balance.”

“Okay, well, thank you very much for your help,” Danny says, walking away from the old crazy lady as fast as he can.

Half way down the volcano Danny starts feeling dizzy. His eyesight goes blurry for a few seconds and then his head is spinning; maybe from the height or lack of oxygen Danny thinks. Or maybe he did not eat enough breakfast. As soon as he gets back to Steve the dizziness fades away. Steve is talking to Max but Danny’s head still feels like cotton. Like a heavy fog that won’t clear. He shakes his head for clarity but loses his balance again. Steve catches Danny’s forearm to help but everything stops as soon as Steve touches Danny. 

The world stops spinning and everything around them slows down. Their eyes focus on each other, their breath caught in their throat and it’s like … the last piece shifts into place. Danny knows every fiber of Steve’s soul and Steve knows every single atom of Danny’s. Their souls twist around each other, caught together, circling each other. They cry out to each other as if to say, _we meet again, finally._ They spin so tight they crash into each other and their bodies light up, nerves severing and joining again, welcoming each other home. Steve lets go and everything begins to move again.

Danny can still hear Max talking but he still watches Steve in awe and Steve hasn’t looked away yet either.

“Did you feel that?” they ask simultaneously.

Then just as fast as that moment was, Danny doubles over in pain. His head aches from a sudden migraine with pain so sharp he could throw up. Danny faintly hears Chin and Kono call out for both of them before he collapses in the dirt.  
+++  
Kono has been sitting by her bosses’ sides for about half an hour once all of the tests come back inconclusive. It is almost peaceful since the previous three hours were nothing but chaos. Seeing Danny and Steve drop, Kono could feel her heart drop with them. At first thought, Kono assumed that they were shot but they were almost in isolation and no gunshot was heard. Running toward them and kneeling down, there was no blood, no wound but there was a pulse. The medevac was called in and Chin ordered Kono to fly back with them. He and Max would finish up and he would call once themselves and the body was back on Oahu. 

Once the medevac landed the men were whisked away for tests, leaving Kono to pray in solitude that everything was going to be okay. She told the doctors everything she could remember but it wasn’t enough. She replayed that scene over and over in her head but nothing about it makes sense. It feels surreal, like a dream. The dirt from the volcano, staining her jeans from where she kneeled, is her only evidence of it happening. 

Her phone vibrates in her pocket, the sound jarring, as the only other noise, besides the hospital machines beeping in rhythm.

Chin’s name appears on her screen. “Hey Cuz, before you even ask, I honestly don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Chin asks, baffled. 

“No one knows what was wrong with them or if there is still something wrong with them. The doctors did a bunch of scans and tests, they’re not dehydrated, they don’t appear to be in a coma, from what the doctors can tell their bodies are perfectly fine but both of their brain scans show heightened activity.”

“That’s weird.”

“I know, I’m looking at them right now.” Both of the men are lying in their hospital beds three feet apart. “They just look like they’re sleeping.”

Chin starts to say something but Kono loses his words. Her eyes flicker from Steve’s heart and breath monitor to Danny’s. Every time Steve’s heart jumps so does Danny’s. They are exactly the same, like they themselves are in rhythm. They even take a deep breath while sleeping at the same time. Weird.

“Cuz?”

“Yeah? Sorry I spaced there for a minute.”

“Well you just keep watch over them. I haven’t heard back from Max yet, but I can’t ID the guy and found nothing on his clothes.”

Kono just sighs. She notices a commotion out of her peripheral vision and sees Catherine walking her way. “Alright Chin, I’ll keep you updated on Steve and Danny.”

“Hey Kono.” When Cath enters the room she looks at Danny first but then settles on Steve and sighs. “When are you not in the hospital,” she mutters under her breath at Steve.

Another half hour goes by and Steve and Danny finally start to come to.

Danny feels groggy but can make out Kono looking down on him. He starts to rub his eyes but freezes when he senses a pressure on his lips. His heart panics for a second, wondering why Kono would kiss him, but when he opens his eyes she’s still leaning over him asking him a question.

“Hey Danny, you’re in the hospital,” her soft voice says and he looks over to see Steve in the bed next to him with Catherine pulling back from a kiss.

“What happened?”

“We were on the volcano this morning remember? And you both collapsed, the doctors don’t know why.”

This spikes Steve’s interest. “What do you mean the doctors don’t know?”

“They did a bunch of tests and scans of the both of you. The only thing out of place is both of your brain scans show increased activity but the doctors don’t know what to make of it.” Danny can see Kono is worried.

“Are you sure the doctors didn’t just see my perfect brain next to Steve’s brain and get confused?”

Danny can practically hear Steve roll his eyes. But it makes Kono smile before turning back into concern.

“Are you sure you guys are okay? Max said you were both acting weird before you dropped.”

“Woah, hold up, Max, the guy who cuts people open, dresses like Keanu Reeves on Halloween, and had a fallout with a friend over a doll thinks we were acting weird?”

Kono nods her head. 

Danny knows what he felt out there on the volcano. No way he could deny it. Not if he can still feel it. Like a deep, nagging presence under his skin. He peers over at Steve and he knows his boss feels it too. He remembers the look in Steve’s eyes, the slight panic and amazement at what had just happened. “I don’t remember anything special,” Steve says and Danny feels a blow to his chest. Leave it to McGarrett to not want to talk about something that could show weakness. Fine then.

“Yeah I don’t remember anything either. When can we get out of here? I’d like to pick up my daughter today and not have to explain to her that Danno was in the hospital again.”  
+++


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have written all the chapters for this work, I still might want to tweak it in a few places but I plan on getting the whole thing up this week.

When Danny picks Grace up that afternoon, he doesn’t mention going to the hospital. No need to worry the kid if the doctors don’t know what was wrong and released them that same day.

Grace is mostly quiet on the way home, saying she’s tired and if Danny was being honest, so is he.

“What do you want for dinner Monkey?”

“Pasta and bolognese sauce” she says without missing a beat. “And a salad,” she adds as an afterthought, knowing it’s more for Danny’s health than hers. Danny smiles at his daughter. “Girl after my own heart.”

When they arrive home, Danny heads straight to his shower to wash this pointless day off of him. He moves slower than he normally would to enjoy the hot water rolling down his face and then on his back.

That familiar hum of arousal kicks in but Danny ignores it, too lazy to really try and the idea of eating dinner sounds more appealing anyway. 

Once out of the shower, dry, and wearing sweats and a t-shirt, Danny does some chores while Grace showers and starts working on her homework.

Danny begins making the sauce, cutting up tomatoes, browning the meat and starting the water for pasta. His mind is focused on the food and nothing else. Nothing about it is remotely sexy and yet Danny can feel his dick twitch in his pants and grow harder by the second. “What the fuck?” Danny mutters to himself. He tries to ignore it and will away his erection but it only gets worse. Within minutes he’s coming in his pants and burns one of his knuckles on his right hand on one of the pots from the surprise.

“Unbelievable” Danny groans to himself and hurries to run cool water over his burn. He changes quickly, putting on a different pair of sweats before going back to cooking.  
+++  
The detective doesn’t sleep well that night. He felt restless and both of his knees ached, making him twist and turn often. He tried laying on his side with a pillow between his knees, and on his back, the pillow beneath his knees. As well as walking around, massaging them, and stretching them out. Morning comes too quickly and before he knows it he is out the door driving to HQ.

He spots Steve getting out of his truck and beeps at him to notice. He falls in step with Steve as they make their way inside. “Hey Danny, how ya feeling today?”

“Awful. I could barely sleep last night. You know when you stare at the clock and it’s 2 so you tell yourself if you fall asleep now, you will only have 5 hours of sleep but then 3 am rolls around and now you have 4? All night I was like that. I kept tossing and turning AND both of my knees hurt which I was very concerned about however, they feel fine now.”

“I couldn’t sleep either last night, I was bothering Cath so much that I went downstairs to try to sleep.”

“Great week this is turning out to be huh?”  
+++  
They aren’t in the building for more than a half an hour before they receive a call about a different crime on the other side of the island. When they’re about ten minutes out, Danny remembers the coffee he had just poured for himself, waiting in his office. His mind was exhausted after last night and he knew coffee was gonna be the only way he got through this day. And now it is sitting on his desk, slowly getting colder and colder.

He flexes his hand without thinking about it and the burn from the previous night starts to ache.

“What is that on your hand? Did you burn yourself?”

Danny sighs audibly. “Yeah, last night I was making dinner and I burned myself.”

“Huh.” The detective can see Steve’s eyes prying at the burn. “Yooo keep your eyes on the road. It’s just a burn McGarrett. And what’s with the ‘huh’?”

“Nothing’s with the huh. It’s just a noise.” They conveniently pull up at the crime scene before Danny can counter. Steve has already forgotten their conversation and switches into Five-O mode automatically.  
+++  
In the afternoon while Danny and Steve are out in the car, Danny starts unconsciously zoning out while gently rubbing the burn on his knuckle. 

“Hey, stop that.”

It’s the vagueness of McGarrett’s demand that brings Danny back to the car. “Excuse me?”

“Stop rubbing your burn, it’s only gonna make it worse.”

Annoyance and confusion blooms through Danny. “How is me rubbing it gonna make it worse? It’s already burned.”

“Just stop, I’m telling you, you’re not helping it. Masochist”

Danny’s first reaction in a situation like this is to argue his way through it. Steve isn’t even making sense. A burn is a burn, the only way to make it worse is to burn it again. But the will to argue suddenly leaves Danny and he just lets it go.

“Fine, I’ll stop touching it.” Danny goes back to looking out the window and the silence fills the car. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Steve take his right hand off the steering wheel and stretch it out from the death grip he has on the steering wheel.

Danny’s mind soon drifts back to yesterday. That feeling when he touched Steve replays in his mind. It had felt all consuming but wonderful. However, he had felt sick leading up to it and immense pain after so maybe his brain tricked him into remembering the in between as bliss. But he _felt Steve._ Like an out of body experience but instead of sight it was emotional.

“Hey so what do you think happened yesterday?”

Danny sees Steve grip the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles whitening under the pressure. “I don’t know Danny. Maybe we were dehydrated.”

The flimsiest excuse Danny has ever heard. Especially considering he used to be a beat cop in Jersey. Those assholes would come up with just about anything to get out of being arrested. “Dehydrated? Steve, you did hear the doctor yesterday. They found nothing wrong with us.”

“Except for-“

“For heightened brain activity, yeah I remember. But that doesn’t explain what happened.”

“I don’t know Danny.”

“Well what do you think happened?”

“I DON’T KNOW, Danny. It was just a fluke. It obviously had no lasting effects so just forget about it.”

Danny stops talking after that. The flip-flopping of emotions he felt during the conversation were bad enough but Steve yelling at him was enough for him to stop fighting. A wave of regret floods his head and he can not wait to put distance between the two of them.  
+++  
When they get back to HQ, Danny immediately goes to his office and starts to organize the mess on his desk to distract his mind. He pointedly ignores Steve, what he’s doing, where he’s going, everything about him. 

The papers on his desk are not enough. He looks around the offices and spots Kono looking at the main computer. _She’ll work._

Danny opens his door and asks Kono to come to his office. He goes behind the desk and sits down even though it will take her three seconds to enter the room.

“What’s up?”

“I need you to … I think, um … I just need you to distract me for a bit. My mind is swimming to say the least and I can’t focus.”

“Well yeah, you were hospitalized yesterday. You might need a day or two to feel normal again and by the way, are we just gonna ignore the fact that you and Steve just collapsed out of the blue and the doctors have no clue as to why?”

“Okay, Kono, I’d love to talk about this with you, but it’s not making me feel any better so could you just–” Danny makes a hand gesture to signify her to “move on.” 

“Yeah okay so I was thinking of moving some furniture around in my house,” and for the next thirty minutes they discuss all of the ways Kono can move her house around. Poorly drawn diagrams and maps are depicted on scraps of paper, trying to figure out the best layout. They even touch on repainting some rooms and the best places to hide weapons. When the conversation dies out and they were left in silence, Kono asked “Are you feeling better?”

Danny smiles lightly at her, “For now, yes.”  
+++


	3. Chapter 3

When Danny’s alarm wakes him up on Wednesday morning, he wants nothing more than to chuck it across the wall and fall back asleep. In his sleep, there’s no pain and no thoughts. He doesn’t have to think about Monday, he did that enough while he was awake, and he doesn’t have to think of Steve. The amount of hours he slept were few and far in between but they’re peaceful. And it takes every ounce of strength Danny has to pull himself up and stay up.

Steve barely speaks to Danny. And when he did, it was work related. Whenever they are alone together, the air in the Camaro feels restricting and Danny’s body tenses up every time. Danny knows Steve recognizes it as well as his driving is even more erratic than usual. He cuts corners quickly and leaves no distance between themselves and any car ahead of them. 

Normally Danny would bark out some complaint but just sits in silence and white knuckles it until they get to their destination.

+++

Thursday rolls around and nothing’s changed. Averaging two to three hours of sleep was not good for a cop let alone a detective. It can make you sloppy. Start to miss the details you would normally see. 

Steve’s demeanor remains agitated and prone to outbursts or worse, shutting down completely. Walking in, Danny can already feel Steve’s bad mood in the air. It sticks to everything like syrup, making the detective miserable throughout the day. They hit roadblock after roadblock with the case of the John Doe on the volcano and it puts Danny in a similar bad mood. 

Steve and Danny decide to pay one of the family members of another case a visit in the afternoon which is equally as unhelpful. Danny thinks they’re telling the truth. They have no true motive to kill a part of their family. On the ride back, Danny starts feeling increasingly warm and the air conditioning is already turned up high.

“Why are you moping around today? What’s wrong with you?” Steve asks, his fury directed solely on Danny. The detective can feel his mood swing violently to anger. His heart beats faster in his chest and feels his hands curl into fists automatically. It terrifies him a bit and wills himself to calm down.

“Nothing, it’s just been a tough week is all.”

“You mean cause of the cases?”

“No, I don’t think so, I just …” and Danny sighs because he honestly doesn’t know why he’s been acting this way. He knows it’s not only Steve’s fault. Danny comes to work in a bad mood and leaves in a bad mood. He can’t shake it. And when he gets home he becomes even worse. His knees bother him and his muscles feel sore. He puts on a fake face for Grace, but he actually just wants to crawl into bed for days. 

“I think something happened on that volcano on Monday,” Danny says under his breath.

He can feel Steve stiffen beside him in the driver's seat. Steve is quiet the rest of the way back to the palace while Danny’s emotions become more frayed by the mile.

+++

When they get back to the offices, Danny goes straight to his own and draws some of the shades to give him some privacy. He settles down in his chair and takes some deep breaths in hopes of calming down everything he’s feeling, but his emotions are swallowing him up. He feels calm and yet antsy like he wants to run a marathon, but he hates running. And back in the car when Steve yelled at him, Danny felt furious even though he had no reason to be. 

All of this started with the stupid volcano and the trip to the hospital. Danny replayed that moment on Monday too many times to count. He was walking back down the volcano, feeling sick, his head felt foggy. He got to McGarrett and Max talking. Danny couldn’t remember what was being said. He felt like he was going to faint but Steve grabbed him and then… it happened. He felt alive. Nothing else can explain it. Like Danny was given a sixth sense and could feel much more around him than just himself. He could feel Steve, all of Steve. And it felt like Steve could feel all of Danny too but now, he wasn’t so sure. It felt endless. Then Steve let go and Danny was hit with the most blinding pain he has ever felt and then nothing at all.

He woke up in the hospital a few hours later just as confused as he is now. Danny checks his watch. 3:45 and all Danny wants is to leave so he can be even more miserable alone. how pathetic Danny thinks.

He packs up the files and cases he needs and locks up his office. Kono must have seen him cause she gets up and stops him before he has the chance to leave.

She looks like she has a lot on her mind but doesn’t know what to say.

“Are you okay?” she asks in a whisper.

Danny puts on his fake Grace face. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Kono peers at him and he knows she can see right through him. “No you're not, come on, I know a good place where we can talk.” She wraps her arm around him and leads him out of the building and he instantly feels a pang of jealousy. _Jealousy? What the actual fuck emotions? Get a grip._  
+++  
Kono waits patiently for Danny to start first. They‘re walking barefoot on a very secluded quiet beach, where no one will hear them. The sand is soft beneath their feet and the ocean rolls on endlessly beside them. Danny just stops in his tracks and turns to look at the ocean. They stand there for a bit, just watching the waves come in and go out. The skies on the ocean are darkening but they have at least ten minutes to talk before the skies open up.

“Do you want to talk about it? Cause you don’t have to. We can just stand here.”

“I think if I don’t talk about it, I’m gonna … I’m gonna lose my mind.”

His hands move together, anxiously. “I think there’s something…” Danny starts but can’t find the words.

“That fucking volcano.” Danny mutters to himself, then clearing his throat. “I don’t have proof but ever since Monday on that damn volcano … something hasn’t been right with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll think I’m crazy.”

“No. Whatever you say, I’ll believe you.”

Danny just looks at her and she seems earnestly concerned. “Okay. When we arrived at the crime scene I saw a figure near the top of the volcano, which I thought was strange even though McGarrett reassured me it was okay. I don’t know, I just had a bad feeling about it, you know? I went to investigate it anyway like any good detective and it was this old woman. She took my hand and started talking to me about something called Mana? and balance? She seemed to have no idea of the crime so I politely thanked her and walked away. I became lightheaded, dizzy, I couldn’t see straight, like I was halfway wasted. And when I was next to Steve he reached out to balance me and everything changed.”

“Oh-kay, what do you mean? Like love at not-first sight?”

“No. No, I don’t think so, it wasn’t love, it was … all I can tell you is it felt like I’ve been with him for my entire life, even longer than that, like I’ve been with him since the beginning of time and I knew I would be with him for the rest of eternity. Look, I know it sounds stupid and really cliché but it felt like I could feel him all around me and I was all around him and then it was over and I got an instant migraine. And then I blacked out.”

Kono is silent for a beat before she exclaims “why didn’t you say anything at the hospital?!”

Danny looks at her “What, are you kidding me? They would think I’ve gone insane. And I know for a fact that Steve would’ve denied it.”

“What, why do you say that?”

“It doesn’t matter, the point is, is that ever since Monday I’m miserable. I can’t sleep anymore even though I feel exhausted, my entire body is sore and both of my knees ache. Oh and, I have terrible mood swings now so that’s great. But, as soon as I’m at work, I feel better. No pain, no tiredness, no nothing.” He purposely leaves out the part that it’s not work that makes him feel better. It’s Steve. When he’s around his partner everything seems physically better. Emotionally, he feels strung out but he really doesn’t want to go down that rabbit hole just yet.

“Are you feeling anything now?”

“I can feel my knees starting to act up.”

Kono grabs his hand and squeezes it. “We should go find that woman.”

“What woman?”

“The woman you spoke to on Haleakala.”

Danny starts to shake his head, but Kono won’t have it “No, listen to me Danny, Mana is the foundation of Hawaiian beliefs. It’s a spiritual energy that one can gain or lose through actions. The gods Kū and Lono formed a bond that we are meant to as well. Kū is the god of war and politics while Lono is the god of peace-”

“She said specifically I have too much violence in my life, which is of course Steve’s fault.” Kono rolls her eyes and smiles at the comment.

“Okay so she probably thinks the Gods are upset with you because you have no peace or a strong enough family….”

“Woah, woah, I have Grace and I have a pretty strong family back at home in Jersey.”

“No, it's not like that, Lono is also the god of fertility so she probably thinks you should have multiple kids and be married.”

“Kono you do know that this is insane. None of this can be real.” Kono just makes a face at him for ignoring hawaiian tradition again. “And she got all this from my hand? I don’t believe it.”

“But that connection with Steve was real?”

Danny slowly nods his head begrudgingly.

“What you described to me is crazy. It sounds crazy. But regardless, you are having a physical reaction to _something_. We should at least go back to Maui and try to find that woman. If you think it started with her then we have to talk with her.”

Danny stares at Kono and then back to the ocean. He can’t believe she’s with him on this. 

“You do know I sound completely insane, there’s no way what I’m describing to you is possible.”

“Yeah, I know. But like I just said, you’re reacting to something. And even from an outsider’s perspective,” she motions to herself, “I can see how it’s affecting you. And you have no motive to lie to me so it must be true” she says with a slight mocking smile.

“You are crazy Kono Kalakaua.”

“Yeah but you love me, although not as much as you love Steve apparently” and Danny stares at her with wide eyes and the slightest blush. “Excuse me?”

“Oh please, did you think I was really gonna skip over the part where you and Steve are connected for eternity?”

“That doesn’t mean that I love him.”

“No, no, you and Steve are just two platonically straight friends who will be soul bonded for forever.”

Danny can’t help the smile even though he tries to hide it. They begin walking back to the cars, bumping shoulders from time to time.

“I really don’t think I love him Kono, my feelings toward Steve aren’t … they don’t feel like love.”

“Are you sure?”

Danny thinks about it for a minute. He thinks about how he felt for Rachel on their wedding day. He loved her the most he could have but when he thinks about Steve, the depth of emotions is just as deep but it’s not love. _but it’s something._ “I’m not sure about anything anymore. So when are we going on this little getaway?” 

“Tomorrow. No point in waiting. The case is still ongoing and we’re still allowed access to the land and we can talk to the people so we can just tell McGarrett we’re looking for more clues.”

“More clues? Okay Scooby-Doo, let’s go.” Danny says with a smile while holding the car door open for Kono.

They head back to HQ so Danny can drive his own car home. It’s mostly quiet between the two of them. Not even the radio plays. Which is understandable. Danny did just unload a lot onto Kono. He should do something for her after she just listened to him spout certifiably crazy, soul-mate drama. 

“Come have dinner with Grace and I tonight.”

Kono’s eyebrows rise in shock. “are you telling me or asking me?”

“Asking.”

“Then yes, I’ll have dinner with you. What are you gonna make?”

“Me? Nothing. We’ll just order something. I’m in no mood to cook.”

+++

It was at one of their late night meetings. Normally they would sit in silence, have coffee or tea and read. But Steve flips through the paper fast, nothing holding his attention for long and Chin can tell something is bothering McGarrett.

Steve puts the paper down and just gazes down at his drink, constantly touching the mug’s handle.

“Is there something you want to talk about?”

Steve looks at him, surprised to hear Chin speak.

“I’m not sure, I mean, this whole week I’ve just felt … off I guess.”

“Well that hospitalization for an unknown reaction probably didn’t help.”

Steve thinks about Monday again for the hundredth time that week. That entire day felt like a blur. Nothing about it seemed real. He remembers Danny coming toward him, tripping? or falling, Steve reaching out toward him, grabbing him and then his body felt tight. Like it was swelling all at once and then immediately relaxed. He looked at Danny again and felt every feeling one person can have all at once and then searing pain enveloped his head as if all the pressure and all the blood rushed to his brain. After that his memory blacks out only to start again once he woke up in the hospital bed.

“Don’t you think it was strange that it was only you and Danny to be hospitalized? Both of you reacted to something that made you faint but how could only you two be affected? You both couldn’t have been exposed to something in the chopper because Kono, Max and I rode over with you. And before that you both showed up separately right? There’s no clear exposure time for… anything.”

Steve knows Chin’s right. He’s been thinking about it since Monday. There’s no logical reason for only him and Danny to drop like flies.  
+++


	4. Chapter 4

When Danny walks into Steve’s office at 9 am after another night of fitful sleep, he has his cane in one hand and case files in the other. The soreness in his knees had kept him awake for hours. Leaving his bed, as he stood in the morning, a twinge of weakness could be felt in both. His cane was the only thing keeping him upright. That is, until Steve was less than twenty feet away.

“What’s with the cane? Did you hurt your knee again?”

“Actually both of my knees hurt, thank you for noticing.” He says a bit short with the brunette. “I’m just letting you know Kono and I are going back to Haleakala.”

Steve furors his eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mean Kono and I are going to hop on a helicopter and head back to Haleakala.”

“You’re willingly taking a heli? And how are you going to walk around with a cane?”

“I’ll manage, plus Kono said she’ll carry me if I get too tired so I think we’ll be okay.”

Steve just rolls his eyes at Danny’s sarcasm. “So you’re going with Kono and not me, your actual partner because…?”

“Because you my friend, have to fill out this paperwork, and you need to catch up on emails, and you need to call Duke about helping with something.” Danny says, handing Steve the files and the sticky note reminder for Duke.

“Have fun,” and Danny walks out the room leaving Steve alone again.  
+++  
“Okay, so I think the woman who approached you was a part of the homelands but is probably one of their religious leaders that looks after the islands and still practices the rituals and blessings.” Kono says as she drives them to god knows where. “They live about two miles west of here.”

When they arrive, Danny wasn’t sure what he was expecting but it was a community of small houses. There was no need to investigate these people’s homes at all since it was clear that the body was dumped by a low flying helicopter. The working theory that they probably tried to aim the body to drop in the volcano, not on the hillside to be easily found. Regardless, this community had nothing to do with the crime. 

“Who do you want to start with?” Danny asks, as it seems this is mostly Kono’s mission. It was her idea to come all the way out here.

“Probably the Leader.”

“Does the Leader have a name?”

“They do but they don’t share their names to outsiders, we only know her as their Leader, she will probably approach us first.”

Their presence on the property is obvious so when Kono and Danny exit the vehicle, many eyes are on them. A small group begins to approach them. It looks like the Leader and possibly her children and even grandchildren. The youngest kids have the biggest smiles but are still reserved. Danny can tell they’re smiling at Kono and are thinking about running up to her but knew not to.

“Hello Ms. Kalakaua and Mr. Williams, I see you’re on your feet again.”

“Oh, you heard about that huh?”

“I did, word spreads quickly here. You are feeling better, aren’t you?” She asks, hinting to his cane.

“Uh, old injury, I’m okay.”

The Leader gives a small smile as a polite gesture. 

“Ma’am? We were hoping to ask you and possibly a few others some questions, if that’s alright with you.”

The Leader shoos away her children and grandchildren before the conversation goes any further. “You can ask me questions but depending on who else you would like to talk to, might be difficult. We do not all speak English and there are some that will only talk if they so choose.” Kono and Danny nod in understanding. 

“Ma’am, our questions do not actually pertain to the body we found. We um, something happened on Monday and, it’s hard to explain, and we don’t really know what to make of it.”

The Leader looks confused but willing to continue the conversation which is a good sign. 

“When I first arrived on the scene I noticed a figure near the top of the volcano. When I approached, it was an older woman praying.” Danny begins but the Leader already nods in recognition. 

“Yes, I know who you are discussing, she protects our traditions.”

“Okay well she began talking about Mana with me,” which makes the Leader nod her head in acknowledgement, “and then she took my hand and told me I was unbalanced,” which makes the three of them smile at the accidental joke. “I went back down the volcano, almost fainted, my partner, Steve caught me, something … happened, and then I actually fainted and passed out.”

“Mr. Williams, I only know a little about what you are referring to, unfortunately the woman who talked to you is not here right now and her return has yet to be determined.”

“Yet to be determined?”

“She is on a spirit journey. That is all I can say.”

Danny feels deflated as soon as she says that. The dull pain in his knee that restarted as soon as he and Kono were airborne, begins to flare up worse. The distance is finally getting to him and when Danny moves his knee, he outwardly winces. It does not go unnoticed by Kono. “Ma’am, whatever happened to Danny is causing him incredible pain, is there anything you can tell us to help him?”

“Surprisingly, some pain relievers do help, like tylenol. But the best medicine is to be with the one you love. I believe you said his name was Steve, right?”

“No, no, I don’t love Steve. I like him, he’s a good man, but I don't love him.”

“Well sir, you wouldn’t be feeling this way if you weren’t supposed to be with him.”

“What do you mean ‘supposed to’ be with?” Kono asks.

“It is … difficult to explain, especially in english, but Kū and Lono decided long ago that you and Steve were to be together.”

Danny looks at Kono uncertain. “How long ago?”

The Leader only answers with a knowing smile.

Danny finds this amusing. Steve and him. Together for possibly centuries. The gun toting, explosion loving, neanderthal. No wonder his mother always used to say he was born stressed if his soulmate was violence incarnate. “Oh my god Kono. This man has been trying to kill me centuries.”

The woman looks frightened at Danny’s comment but Kono explains it with “Steve worked in the United States Navy and he does whatever he has to, to keep Hawaii safe, even if that means exposing us to dangerous situations.”

“Ahh, he is the one with too much violence. That means you are the peace. The scales of violence and peace must be balanced as the Gods demand it.”

The three of them hear someone shouting for the Leader’s attention in a language that sounds similar to Hawaiian to Danny’s ears. The Leader responds back to the person. “I must be going now.”

Danny sighs. “Okay well thank you for your help ma’am. You were very kind to talk with us, we’ll be leaving now.”

“Danny?” Kono looks at him and he can see she has a million other questions she wants to ask the Leader. 

“It’ll be okay Kono. My knee is starting to hurt, can we get back home now before it gets worse?”

It’s the understatement of the century. His knees are on the verge of buckling underneath him. It started on the helicopter but between the walking and the jostling in the car on the unpaved roads, his knees are barely keeping him standing. 

Kono nods quietly. She won’t push Danny, especially when they have a while before the distance between Danny and Steve is the opposite ends of a room.

During the flight, Danny grips Kono’s hand, the pain becoming almost unbearable, and doesn’t let go.   
+++  
When they arrive back in the office, and Kono and Danny lay eyes on Steve, they both breathe a sigh of relief they did not know they were holding. 

“Hey, how was your trip?” Steve asks.

“Waste of time.” Kono says, looking at Danny. Checking over him one last time, searching for any signs of pain. Danny gives her a small smile and a short nod before she slips into her office.

Steve looks at Danny in surprise. “Well she’s not wrong.”

“And how’s your knee?”

“Better now.” 

“Alright, well just keep an eye on it.”

+++  
By 5pm, the afternoon had gone better than the morning and everyone was ready to sign off for the weekend. Danny forced himself to stick by Steve all day long for as long as he could without taking drastic measures. Steve’s mood eventually evened out until he was happy again. 

Danny currently sat in Steve’s office reading over a few cold case files. This, as it turned out, was what Duke needed help with.

Danny looks up to crack his neck from looking down so long he catches Steve staring at him.

“What’s up Babe?”

“Do you think we should go out for a drink tonight? The four of us?”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter might be a bit cringey lol I did it on purpose cause it makes me laugh every time at the ridiculousness of it.
> 
> also idk if i mentioned it before but some of the italicized phrases or words are supposed to be the character's inner thoughts, just a heads up. it is mostly danny's thoughts

No one likes Mondays. They are universally hated. Even Danny hated them before Steve and distance became an issue. He now welcomes the much needed relief, grateful to be back by Steve’s side without needing an excuse to be. But everyone else that Danny knows still hates Mondays, so when Kono comes into his office with a smile on her face, he starts to question if Kono might be an extraterrestrial life form.

“Why are you smiling Kalakaua?”

She wiggles her eyebrows. “You know why.”

“No, no, I really don’t.”

“Oh please! Last time I saw you, Friday night, you were hanging off of Steve’s hip and you left together, both with five beers in you. I left you alone all weekend but now you have to tell me what happened. I want every detail.”

Danny looks down and smiles a sad smile before looking back up to Kono. “Nothing happened.”

Kono’s face drops into disappointment. “How’s that possible? You had the perfect opportunity to make a move.”

“Look, I tried, I honestly did, but he ruined it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Okay, so, we got back to Steve’s place and Cath’s not there, I ask, he says she’s doing something Navy related which is when I had the idea that you just had. We keep drinking. Laughing our asses off. Steve tells me to stay, don’t drive home. I say fine, Grace is at a sleepover anyway. I start heading for the couch, he grabs me and asks why I went with you and not him back to the volcano. And I say about the dumbest thing I’ve ever said which was ‘I was looking for love’,” and Kono gasps and her eyes widen.

“You didn’t.”

“I have no idea how I remember saying that but I do and that was apparently the best thing my drunk ass brain could come up with. And so Steve, also just as wasted as me, just leans in and I swear on my life I heard him say ‘then you should have stayed with me’.”

“Nooooooooo”

“And then there’s this moment. Everything slows down, it’s just me and him and I’m looking into his eyes and I can barely move. I’m frozen in place and it feels like it’s just us. But he realizes how close we’re standing and then... he broke the moment and asked where I wanted to sleep? The next morning he acted as if nothing happened, never mentions it, doesn’t even seem awkward.”

And now Kono looks really disappointed “are you serious?” she asks quietly.

“Yep” Danny says popping the ‘p’. “It was like it never happened. I even picked up Grace and brought her back to Steve’s. The three of us spent all day together and he never said anything about it or even looked like he knew that it happened.”

Chin knocks on the glass door and sticks his head in.

“Hey guys, Max just called and he’s ready to see us. I guess McGarrett is still with the Governor,” and Danny looks over at his partner’s office and for the first time notices his absence. “Kono I need you to stay here to run facial recognition as well as dig through Capital Bank’s finances. Danny and I can go see Max and then go to Luke Galloway’s house. I think he knows more than he’s letting on.”

“I think so too.” Danny says in agreement, standing up to get going.

Chin disappears which is when Kono says, “We are not finished discussing this.”  
+++  
Danny doesn’t see Kono for much of the rest of the day. They keep missing each other, running down leads, going from lab to lab and reading over old testimonies. He does however see Steve, hear Steve, and feel Steve all around him. And surprisingly they have a pleasant time together, compared to the previous week’s shit show.

By four pm Danny is back in his office, writing emails and catching up when Kono walks in.

“I think Steve loves you. AND I think he’s been in love with you for a very long time.”

“Well that’s a _very_ bold statement for someone who is completely wrong.”

Kono just ignores him. “I’ve been thinking about this all day. Drinking lowers inhibitions, it doesn’t make you a liar and it definitely doesn’t make you a better liar. So Steve meant what he said when he said you should have stayed with him because he loves you.”

“Oh come on, you can’t do what he did if you love that person. You can’t tell someone you basically love them, stare at them like the world hangs in the balance and then just deny it happening.”

“Like the world hangs in the balance?” Kono asks like she’s about to laugh.

Danny can feel his cheeks redden a bit. “Let’s move past what I just said.”

“Okay so he’s terrible at dealing with emotions, we knew about this before.”

Danny just hums in agreement. His eyes wander over to Steve in his office who looks like he bangs his funny bone on his desk. Danny can feel a dull ache in his elbow as well. He rubs it out to make it go away.

Something dawns on him and his jaw drops to the floor. 

“What??” Kono asks, following Danny’s line of sight to Steve and back to him.

“I … I think I’m physically connected to that goof over there.” Danny points at his partner, staring at him in awe.

“Yes Danny, we already established that. You and Steve are soul mates. Distance is painful.”

“No, I mean like when he does something stupid and hurts himself, it affects me. He just hit his funny bone and I could feel it.”

“Wait seriously?” Kono says with a disbelieving smile.

“Yeah I think so…” Danny says, still looking at Steve. “Do you think it’s only pain ? or do you think I could feel pleasure too?”

“Pleasure?” Kono asks, narrowing her eyes at him.

Danny thinks back to the few times his dick got hard in his pants last week even when nothign sexy was happening. And at the most inopportune times as well. And without even touching it, he would be coming in his pants like a teenager. 

_Holy fuck, it’s been Steve all along._

“Pleasure.” Danny nods in agreement.

“TMI dude, I did not need to know that.”

“Hey, you can’t just pick and choose what parts of this freak show you want to see. If you’re in this, I’m telling you everything.”

“Everything?”

“Yeah, Everything.”

“Alright, I’ll hold you to it.” Kono looks down at her phone. “Well, it’s closing time, I’m outta here. Please go and spend time with Steve, it’ll make you feel better.” Kono says with a smile and walks out without looking back.

Danny knows she’s right, there’s no doubt about it. But after this weekend and Steve’s inability to deal with emotions, he doesn’t feel like being subjected to another night of rejection. Instead he meets Grace at home and gets started on dinner for the both of them.  
+++  
After they eat, Danny cleans up and starts flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch. Grace remains in her room all night working on an essay and studying for a biology quiz. By the time 9pm rolls around, his knee pain starts to set in. The detective pops some tylenol and heads to bed, turning everything off and locking the house up. Even though sleep is impossible most nights, Danny would rather be in bed and hope for a change than stay up and watch infomercials all night long. 

Danny starts listening to a podcast that normally would have had him out in minutes but now he’s heard it all the way through he could recite it by heart. At the end, his mood starts to sour. Anger builds in his chest when there is nothing to get angry about. It feels like a foreign emotion. As if he is no longer in control.

Maybe if he can feel Steve physically, like when he banged his funny bone, he can also feel him emotionally. That would explain his mood swings and why it seems to overpower him.

_it must be steve_

The anger turns darker and Danny can’t grasp the other emotions. It’s hard to know what you’re feeling when someone else is deciding for you. He starts practising breathing exercises to calm himself down. God knows if it’s getting through to Steve. He never seems to be affected by the bond anyway.

_or maybe his side is broken. maybe he’ll never feel you_

Danny stops his thoughts before they go any further. _don't think like that_  
+++


	6. Chapter 6

When Danny wakes the next morning he thinks he might have averaged five hours last night which is the best he’s had since the volcano but his kneecaps feel like sandpaper. Danny groans out loud in annoyance when he stands for the first time that morning. He’s finished getting ready way before his usual time when he sees Grace walk out of bed like a zombie and straight into the bathroom.

“Hey Monkey? I’m gonna need to leave a bit early today, can I drop you off at school early?

“Sure.”

“I already made your lunch and breakfast.”

From the other side of the door he can hear water running and leaves her alone. Grace knows this routine well by now.

They are both out the door fifteen minutes later. Grace plugs in her music over the car’s speakers for them both to listen to as she eats her breakfast in the front seat. Banana and a blueberry muffin. 

“Thanks for doing this monkey.”

“No problem,” she says with a mouth full of food.

They pull up outside of the school, with one door already open. A teacher stands beside it to welcome any kids that come to school early, whether that be for extracurriculars or in Danny’s case, parents that have much earlier mornings or changing schedules. He tells his daughter he loves her as she gets out of the car.

“Love you too.” And with that, Danny pulls away. 

+++

Danny has no intention of going into work early. He wasn’t called in early for a body or early morning bank robbery. He’s driving straight to McGarrett’s on the excuse of picking him up for work but he really just needs pain relief. _and to see his beautiful face._

He rolls his eyes at himself. He used to just admire Steve’s beauty from afar, like a piece of art in a museum. Like the statue of David. But his resolve is slowly breaking down. Bit by bit.

Danny lets himself in and calls out for Steve, knowing he’s already awake, probably went swimming. 

“In here,” Steve calls from the kitchen. Danny follows his voice to a half naked, somewhat damp, navy SEAL. And the sight is breathtaking. The scent of lilacs washes over Danny. It permeates the small kitchen thickly. _he’s wet from the shower, not the ocean._

The scent of Steve’s body wash smells like home to Danny’s soul. His mom had a few lilac bushes back home in Jersey and he can picture them and his childhood home so clearly when Steve uses this body wash. 

“What are you doing here?” 

Danny just shrugs his shoulders and makes himself at home in his partner's kitchen, pulling out a coffee mug and half and half. “Thought I’d pick you up, or should I say getting an earlier chauffeur.”

Steve ignores Danny’s comment and keeps preparing his breakfast. Once Danny has his coffee, he openly watches Steve work shirtless, and it’s kind of beautiful. His tanned back looks soft and Danny can’t help but imagine what it would feel like under his fingers. And his shoulders, decorated with tattoos, look strong. Probably strong enough to lift Danny up against the wall and… Danny tries to stop that thought before it goes any further but his dick already took an interest. _great_

In an effort to distract himself, Danny starts to make conversation. “How was your night?” knowing full well something happened.

Steve sighs over his breakfast. “Cath and I had a small argument last night.”

“Small argument? You mean a fight.”

Steve nods in agreement. 

“Around 11?”

Steve’s head pops up. “Yeah … how? How did you know that?”

Danny takes another hard look at Steve before looking away. He takes a sip of his coffee, letting the taste sit in his mouth before he swallows. “Lucky guess.”

“Well she left this morning. On a mission. Wouldn’t tell me where or for how long.”

Danny just nods his head into his coffee. _perfect_

+++

For the rest of the day, Danny can’t get Steve’s partially naked body out of his head. He’s seen it a dozen times before but there was something different this time around. Now that he knows it was predestined for him, it’s hard to not think about it.

“Hellooooo???” Kono snaps her fingers in Danny’s face. “Were you listening at all to me?” and the blonde feels instantly guilty.

“I’m sorry Kono, I’ve just been a bit distracted today.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“I… just, uh” and Steve’s chest flashes in his mind again and remembers the thoughts he had that morning and he blushes slightly. “I just saw something this morning. And it stuck with me.”

Kono sees the blush and just smiles at Danny. “Does it have anything to do with the fact that you and Steve walked in, together, this morning?”

Danny smiles at the thought. “Yeah, maybe.”

+++

On Wednesday morning, Danny is pleasantly aroused, waking up from his dream of Steve. He remembered feeling as if he knew Steve was near but he could never see him. It was more of a feeling that his presence was almost hovering around him. He could feel light touches and soft whispers from Steve. Danny reaches down and starts to play with himself while his mind can’t help but wander back to his partner. And Steve, shirtless, in his kitchen yesterday is all his mind can focus on. God. What it would feel like to have Steve touch his dick, to feel his body pressed up against his. His strokes begin to quicken until he’s coming, faster than he has in his entire life but his orgasm feels different, almost disappointing or like something was missing.

Sighing and rolling out of bed, Danny heads for the shower and gets ready ahead of schedule again. His first instinct is to go see Steve to relieve his chronic pain but he feels bad dropping off Grace early again. He waits to see her out to her bus and then drives himself over to Steve’s anyway. 

He lets himself in again and sees a fully clothed Steve running up the stairs. “Woah, in a hurry to be somewhere?”

“I had a late morning!” is shouted from a bathroom.

“Want me to make you breakfast?”

“Yeah, something quick!” Danny heads to the kitchen and starts to make coffee for Steve while looking through the fridge. He settles on some pineapple Steve’s already cut up and a few power bars he found in the cabinet. Danny can hear Steve walking toward the kitchen, stomping all the way, and makes a bee line for the sink.

“Hey where is your-” and Steve brushes past him in his hurry to set the glasses down in the sink and Danny forgets what he was about to ask. Steve had barely touched Danny’s wrist and now he forgets everything as all the air in his lungs escapes him and it feels as if time slows down and then spontaneously fast forwards back to live time. “Uh, um, your to-go, coffee, mug, thing?” 

And Steve spins around and plucks it from a cabinet and hands it to his partner and again their fingers brush on the exchange and Danny swears he can feel his soul begin to radiate happiness. Steve has already left the kitchen by the time Danny comes back to himself. Danny takes a deep breath trying to focus on reality and pours Steve his coffee. He also grabs the pineapple and the granola bars and heads to the front door, waiting for Steve who seems to have lost his head this morning as he is still running around. 

“You know, it’s okay if we’re late.” Danny reminds him as Steve slips on his shoes. 

“Not if I can help it, let’s go.” Steve says, and opens the door for Danny, still carrying everything. But the blonde hadn’t moved out fast enough as Steve ushers him outside with a push on his lower back making Danny breath in sharply while Steve yanks his hand away like it burned. 

_well this is new_

+++

Danny thinks himself lucky when Five-O almost gets through a week without a shooting, a bombing, a car chase or any highly violent act that comes second hand with this job. But by late Thursday afternoon his luck runs out when Steve decides the best course of action is to storm a small-time, illegal gun trafficker’s house without waiting for backup, even though it would have only taken another two minutes. 

Danny runs up to hide behind a low retaining wall, giving him some protection as Chin fires shots as cover. Steve somehow made it all the way up to the house, standing against the house next to an open window where some shots rang out from. Danny catches sight of Steve and he already sees a plan forming. Steve looks to Danny as if he knows what his next move is. Steve nods his head as Danny starts shaking it about to yell out NO! Before he can get the words out Steve decides to throw himself through a glass window landing on the ground inside. As soon as Steve lands, Danny’s body seizes up from shock and pain. His legs give out and he collapses in the dirt, trying to catch his breath and will himself to breathe through the pain.

Chin sees Danny go down and runs over to him checking for gunshot wounds. “What’s wrong Danny?” his voice frantic. “I don’t see any blood?”

The pain radiates out, crippling his muscles as it goes. He needs to get out of there. Away from McGarrett. Distance be damned. “I’m fine. Help me up.”

Chin gets him to his feet just as HPD shows up. Chin nods to them to go on in the house. Minutes later McGarrett comes out smiling with the guy in handcuffs. 

“Un-fucking-believable.” Danny mutters to himself and turns to his car.

Danny checks over his shoulder and sees Steve turn the criminal over to Duke, still smiling, not even looking to see if Danny or Chin are okay.

He gets to his camaro as quickly as possible and peels out of there, leaving Steve behind without saying a word. Steve can get a ride back in a taxi for all he cares, his left shoulder and the entire arm is still throbbing from pain and lays limp at his side while his left thigh and hip remain in agony. He drives as fast as he possibly can back to HQ to find Kono. He couldn’t think of anyone else to turn to. He finds her still at the main computer working hurriedly.

“I don’t know boss, GPS says he’s back here…” her head turns and notices him.

“Kono,” Danny can barely manage before dropping to his knees, his legs giving up under the stress and pain.

“Oh my god Danny!” And Kono rushes over to him. Her eyes scream worry and her lithe body is warm and gentle when holding Danny up.

“Danny? Is something wrong Kono?” Steve’s worried voice comes over the comms. 

“Turn him off,” Danny whispers, his right arm holding his left close to his chest.

Kono nods at Danny’s request, “We’re fine Steve.” She runs back to the computer and abruptly ends the call and turns the computer off so they won’t be bothered. When she goes back to Danny, she almost has tears in her eyes. 

“Steve said you just ran off Danny, I don’t understand, what happened?” Her hands are on him looking for the cuts and broken bones that had to be responsible for Danny’s pain. “No one said you got hurt. Did you break something?” Panic overtaking Kono when she sees no outward signs of trauma. 

“It wasn’t me. It was Steve.” Danny can barely get the words out. “He went through the window and landed on his left side, and cut his leg on glass.”

“He did this to you?” Kono almost screams. Her eyes look murderous to Danny and if he wasn’t in so much pain he would tell her to calm down. “Wait, if Steve got hurt, and you’re just feeling the residual pain through the bond, then … then I don’t know what I can do Danny.” 

Danny’s pretty content to just pass out on the floor right here.

“Come on, we have to get up,” Kono says, helping pull Danny to his feet, leading him to his office. She sets him down gingerly on his couch. “Let’s … just make sure this is the bond and you don't actually have wounds I can address.” She begins to unbutton his dress shirt revealing the undershirt. She gives his arms a better look over but there’s no scrapes, no blood, nothing physically wrong. 

“Is there anything I can do?” Kono desperately asks, but Danny just shakes his head and grasps her hand and holds it tight.

“Why didn’t you just stay with Steve?”

“I couldn’t even look at him after … fuck. I was just so goddamn mad at him after I just, I just had to get out of there okay?”

He rests his head on the back of the couch, just waiting for any relief. She sits next to him, holding both of his hands in hers, squeezing tightly. Danny almost passes out from the pain but his anxiety spikes dramatically and it wakes him back up.

“He’s on his way, Kono. He’s in the building. What, what do we tell him?” Danny asks, slightly panicking from Steve’s anxiety. Kono jumps up immediately and pulls all the blinds in Danny’s office, blackening the room. “You had a headache when you were storming the house and you could feel it becoming a full grown migraine but your medicine was in your desk drawer so you raced back here to take it but the migraine already set in so it’s gonna take some time for the medicine to start working.”

“Wow you can lie fast,” Danny says. Kono joins him on the couch again, taking his hand in hers. After all, he's still in pain. 

Within fifteen seconds Steve’s barging into Danny’s office. “What happened? Why did you take off back there?” Steve asks calmly although his partner’s worry and anger is palpable to Danny. And seeing Danny in his undershirt with Kono sitting next to him, holding his hand, leaves a sour taste of jealousy in Danny’s mouth.

Danny meekly mutters “migraine” as quietly as possible, trying to play up the part.

“What?” Steve asks, confused. 

Kono takes over and softly explains the fake reason for Danny dropping everything and running back to HQ without Steve in the car.

“Since when have you had migraines?” Steve asks quietly.

_I guess he bought Kono’s lie_

“Volcano,” Danny whispers, improvising on the spot.

“He means when you were both hospitalized after your collapse on the volcano.” Kono explains, running with it as well. 

“Chin said you collapsed on scene, like you had been shot.”

Danny takes a deep breath. “They’re that bad Steve.”

Steve sighs and rubs his face, exhausted from the day and the apparent worry over his partner. Steve takes Danny’s free hand in his and squeezes. “Alright, I’ll leave you alone.”

It takes all of Danny’s willpower to not react to Steve’s gesture. The instant their hands wrap around each other, the pain vanishes from Danny’s body. Steve leaves the office, leaving Kono and Danny in the dark.

“It’s gone, all of the pain. It’s gone.”

Kono sits up straighter and leans toward Danny. “Seriously?”

“As soon as he touched me, he took all of the pain away.” Kono looks relieved and conflicted simultaneously. 

“Yeah, but he was the one to cause the pain in the first place.”   
+++


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you've probably noticed that this fic is heavy in dialogue and its cause I have absolutely no patience for writing in descriptive words and depictions so I do apologize if it ever seems short in places.

“Hey, how are you feeling now?” Steve asks after walking back into Danny’s office an hour later, pointedly after Kono left not five minutes before. 

“Much better actually, Kono was good to sit with me,” Danny adds, knowing it will annoy Steve. And it does, by the feel of the new emotions moving through Danny. 

_you can not stand sharing your toys can you Steve?_

“That’s good, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tonight? Grace can come too.”

The last thing Danny expects is a dinner invitation. “Uh Grace probably has a lot of homework, we couldn’t stay for too long.”

“That’s fine, she can even bring some homework over to work on if she needs too.” 

Danny nods, thinking the invite over. If they did have dinner at Steve’s, there’s a chance he could sleep through the night. 

“And Cath’s still gone?”

Steve bites his lip and nods his head.

“Alright, we’ll be over at six.”

+++

Danny is true to his word and they show up at six. Danny carries a six-pack while Grace has her backpack with enough homework to last the whole night. She sets up in the living room while Danny goes to help Steve in the kitchen. Although helping is usually out of the equation as Steve doesn’t like people getting in his way. So Danny just opens a beer and watches Steve.

“Are you sure you should be drinking that?”

Danny pauses at Steve’s comment. “What do you mean ‘should you be drinking that’?”

“Alcohol dehydrates you, not something a person who suffers from migraines should be part-taking in.”

_what a buzz kill._ “Every time I finish a beer, I’ll drink a glass of water. Is that good super SEAL?” 

Steve rolls his eyes at the nickname. “Why didn’t you tell me about the migraines?”

Danny shrugs, not really knowing what to say. “They haven’t been affecting me during work hours.”

“They affected you today,” Steve says almost accusatively.

And Danny gets annoyed by his friend’s tone. “I waited to make sure the job was done. I saw the guy in handcuffs being handed over to Duke. From that point on, there’s nothing left for us to do.”

“Yeah but you couldn’t have waited another five minutes? You just took off Danny. I thought something was really wrong.” 

Danny has nothing else to say to Steve so he doesn’t respond. However, Steve apparently won’t let it go. “So the doctors think it has something to do with that monday?”

Danny sighs at Steve’s persistence. _that? he can’t even call it what it was? say: that day on the volcano or that day we were both hospitalized under mysterious circumstances? just ‘that’ ?_

“Yeah, I’ve been having adverse side effects so the doctors have been doing more tests,” and Danny realizes a second too late what he just said. here come the questions.

“What? What do you mean ‘adverse side effects’? I thought the doctors cleared both of us.”

“Yes, they did originally, but… I don’t know, I haven’t felt right since.”

“Okay well, will you please tell me when you aren’t feeling okay. I’ll drive you to the doctors if you want.”

The idea makes Danny smile. “I’ll be okay babe, don’t worry.”

Steve nods, effectively ending that conversation.

It’s very quiet in Steve’s house. The only sound really is Steve cooking and the occasional noise from Grace. It’s just the three of them, which makes Danny wonder where his least favorite person actually is. “So, you really have no idea where Catherine is?” and just asking that question causes almost physical pain. His own jealousy flaring up but Danny tries to push it down.

“No. She wouldn’t say.”

Fine by Danny. At least she won’t be dropping in. Steve takes a step back from his work, taking a break. The chicken was already in the oven and the rice was simmering.

“I thought something was really wrong today Danny. When I heard Kono’s voice when she was locating your car… She sounded scared. Like you were about to…” And Steve can’t finish that sentence. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to. It doesn’t matter, Danny knows how that sentence ends. Steve was afraid Danny was dying, for no other reason except for the tone of Kono’s voice and Chin’s description. 

Seeing Steve so vulnerable makes Danny’s heart melt for him. His super SEAL almost never shows his emotions but when he does, Danny can barely contain himself. He wants nothing more than to reach out and kiss Steve. To reassure him that everything is okay. But Danny holds himself back.

“I’m okay babe” Danny says quietly but sternly. He knows Steve heard from the small nod he receives in return.

+++

The first thing he notices is that his knees don’t hurt upon waking up which is a welcomed feeling. But once he starts moving, Danny’s entire left side is still a dull ache from yesterday. When Steve decided to fly through a window. 

_fuck you Steve._

Seeing Steve in the office relieves some of the pain but his body still has the pull of soreness. 

“How are you feeling today?” Danny asks, already knowing the answer. 

“Ah, not bad,” Steve answers while rolling his shoulders back and stretching a bit as if to prove himself correct. 

“See, I know you’re lying. There’s absolutely no way anyone is okay the day after they flew through a window and cut themselves on glass. Especially at your age.”

“Hey, I’m not that old! And I mean, yeah I’m a little sore, but I’ve been through worse.”

Danny just shakes his head. “Come’on I want to pay a visit to the boyfriend, I think there’s a few things he forgot to mention.”

+++

The drive to the boyfriend’s house should only take 15 minutes but traffic is at a stand still. The music’s not on and Steve hasn’t said a word since they got in so Danny just zones out thinking about the bond. Danny tries to remember what he used to worry about before the volcano incident. Probably something with Grace.

“You know how Cath and I got into a fight on Monday?” Steve says abruptly.

“Yeah, still no word from her?” In the off chance she called between the twelve hours he and Steve have been apart.

“No.”

“What was that about by the way?”

“Nothing, it was stupid.”

Danny just rolls his eyes. Whatever it was, it probably wasn’t stupid. If it was a lover’s quarrel, Danny would bet money that Steve never grasped the real reason he and Cath argued.

“Anyway, I wanted to fix things and I was thinking of taking her out for a really nice meal. When she gets back.”

His stomach rolls in his belly. The idea of helping McGarrett think of ways to make up with Catherine which most likely also included making out and having sex was unbearable. He could feel his heart, heavy in his chest, and a wave of sadness wash over him.

“No. No, I’m not gonna help you fix it with your girlfriend if– if you won’t tell me why you fought.” Truly a lame excuse for not wanting to help out a friend. But Danny would rather shoot himself in the head than help Steve make up with Catherine. 

“Oh come on Daniel, what if I cooked her dinner instead, a nice romantic dinner at home…” and at that point Danny forces himself to tune out. The more words Steve speaks the more Danny feels like his life is being squeezed out of his soul. It takes everything in his power to not melt down into a panic attack. He hadn’t had one in 7 years and he is not gonna ruin his streak because Steve fucking McGarrett is being a grade A asshole.

Once at the boyfriend’s house, Danny is all business. Focusing on his job instead of Steve and Catherine and the dinner and the kissing and the hot make up sex Steve will be having. His so-called soulmate will be having with another person. Just one more way Steve gets to hurt him this week.

+++

Back in the palace, when they turn the corner they both stop in their tracks. Catherine is standing in Steve’s office. Steve looks at Danny and smiles before walking to Catherine. 

Danny catches Kono’s eyes from her office. She mouths ‘I’m sorry.’

His heart sinks even lower and hides himself in his office with all the blinds closed. At some point Kono comes in to sit with him in silence as he tries to focus on his work.

+++

After the hell day ends, Danny gets home to Grace and gives her a big hug and doesn’t let go, prompting Grace to ask if everything is okay.

“Yeah Monkey, it’s just been a hard week.”

“Do you want me to stay home tonight? I was planning on going over to Kelly’s but I can stay.”

“No, I’ll be fine, I’ll get myself a pizza and find a game to watch.”

“Maybe invite Uncle Steve over?”

“Nah, I think he might be busy tonight. I’ll be fine, go, go have fun. Do you want me to drop you off?”

“They’re gonna pick me up in a few minutes.” And sure enough, in a few minutes, Danny sees Grace off and closes the door behind her. The silence of the house is almost deafening.

+++


	8. Chapter 8

Danny orders his favorite pizza, parks himself in front of the TV and watches Netflix as hours pass by.

By 8pm instead of getting a hard dick like what Danny assumed would happen if Steve got lucky with Cath tonight, a flood of nausea hit him and then the overwhelming feeling of heartache courses through the detective and he doubles over. It feels like getting his heart broken all over again by Rachel. Like forcing him to relive the night she ended their marriage and left with Stan and Grace to Hawaii. It’s almost too much to bear. He tries to get up from the couch but collapses on the floor instead. Panic sets in and Danny actually considers picking up the phone and calling Steve and telling him everything just to end the pain. 

He grabs for his phone and hovers over Steve’s name. He stares at it, the pain getting worse and the anxiety increasing. 

Something possesses him to call Kono instead.

She speeds all the way to Danny after hearing his panicky voice on the phone and finds him still on the floor, leaning up against the side of the couch. His face is ashen and small beads of sweat dot his forehead.

“Danny, Danny, what happened?” she grasps his hand tightly and he squeezes back just as hard.

“Steve, bond, sex.”

“Steve’s having sex? I thought you said it was usually pleasurable.”

“Not this time. I feel like … I feel like I’m dying, if I didn’t know about the bond I’d say I’m having a heart attack.”

“What if you are?” Her fingers try to find Danny’s pulse. Worry colors her face. “Danny your pulse is way down.”

“Down?”

“Yeah. Down. Danny we have to get you to a hospital now.” Kono helps Danny to his feet and eases him into the car. She turns on her sirens and flies to Queens Medical.

Staff rushes out to meet them, hearing the sirens, taking Danny inside. A flurry of people start asking questions to both Kono and Danny, recognizing them as Five-O and are more than willing to put them ahead of the other people waiting. Danny gets a private room in the ER where doctors fly in and out taking blood and performing other minor tests. Kono holds Danny’s hand the entire time, too afraid to let go. At 1 in the morning, the head doctor, Dr. Cho, walks in.

“Hello Daniel and Kono, how are we feeling?”

“A bit tired,” Danny answers for the both of them.

“I’m sure you are. We have some preliminary results and it looks like you most likely had a mild heart attack. And I say most likely because we cannot find any evidence of you having a heart attack except from your symptoms you described upon arrival which were ending once you were in our care. I want to keep you for the rest of the night and consult with some of my peers.”

“So are you saying there is no damage at all?” Kono asks, a bit confused.

“Correct. Mr. Williams your heart is working beautifully and your blood is perfect. There is absolutely no explanation as to why this happened or why I can’t find evidence. We still want to keep you for a few more hours and I will be scheduling some more tests for your heart down the road okay? Do you have any questions?”

They both shake their heads no. “Okay, we just got a room available for you so you will be taken up now.” A nurse heads in with a wheelchair and navigates Danny through the halls and up to the fourth floor. Kono and the nurse help Danny get back into bed. As the nurse walks out, Kono takes the big comfy recliner chair next to the bed. 

“You should go home and get some sleep” Danny offers.

“I don’t believe it.” Kono says mostly to herself, ignoring Danny’s comment. The silence returns and Danny starts to fall asleep until Kono asks “Are you gonna tell Steve?”

“About the heart attack?”

“About everything. He did this to you Danny. We both know it’s true. He keeps hurting you and you don’t even care.” Kono’s voice breaks at the end and he knows she’s close to tears. 

“Kono, listen to me, up to this point, Steve has shown no interest in me outside of work and friendship. He has never, NEVER, hinted at anything romantic. If I mention the bond he will feel forced into ending his relationship with Cath because of his guilt over me. And I don’t want that. I want him to want to be with me. Otherwise I will be second guessing everything he does or says.

“I will feel trapped in another relationship. One that I did not ask for nor had any intention of ever pursuing. I do not want to feel that way again.”

Kono sighs at his response. “I guess you make a good point.”

“I always do,” Danny says cocky to lighten the mood. “Now if you’re not gonna leave, at least let me sleep.”

“Yes sir,” Kono says with a small smile. 

But Danny couldn’t sleep. _he keeps hurting you._ Kono’s words echo in his mind. 

_he obviously doesn’t want me or he would have broken up with Catherine by now or we would have already been together. he doesn’t want me at all. doesn’t even want his own soulmate. fuck._

Danny feels a tear stream down his face. 

+++

Danny is still in the hospital by 8:30 am and the prospect of leaving soon is looking unlikely so Kono goes to pick Grace up and brings her to the hospital. 

The worried look on her face is enough to make Danny cry.

“How are you Danno?”

“Better now that you’re here. Did Kono tell you what happened?”

Grace nods in affirmation. 

“Did she also tell you I’m 100% okay and that they found nothing wrong with me?”

“Yes but you’re still in the hospital.”

“I know, but maybe if they let me out in time we can go get brunch. Sound good?”

11 am rolls around and the doctors seem to finally give up on Danny’s mysterious heart attack. “Mr. Williams, I want to see you back here in a week, three months and six months. No excuses,” Dr. Cho says.

“Yes Doctor.” 

+++

Being released from the hospital isn’t as quick as Danny would like and by the time the three of them walk out Danny is starving and he knows Grace is too. Kono isn’t quiet about being hungry as her stomach growls a bit loudly. 

They drive to Grace’s favorite breakfast and brunch restaurant. The drive over is quiet except for the radio playing and the three of them barely speak throughout the meal. Danny and Grace on one side of the booth with Kono on the other. Before the food arrives, Grace clutches her father’s hand under the table and sometimes leans her head on his shoulder. Everytime she does, he squeezes her hand to let her know everything will be okay.

After they eat and are waiting for the bill, Kono stands up to use the restroom, leaving the father and daughter alone.

“Hey Danno?”

“Yes Monkey?”

“Are you and Kono… like seeing each other?”

Danny is more than a little surprised by her question. “Am I seeing Kono?” and repeating the question almost makes Danny laugh. “No, she’s just a really good friend.” 

“You know it is okay if you want to go out on a few dates. I wouldn’t mind.”

“Oh you wouldn’t mind, is that so?”

Grace smiles and nods at her father. “As long as I approve of them first.”

Danny smiles at his daughter’s intentions. “Of course.”

+++

After they pay for the bill and Kono drives them home, Danny realizes how badly he wants a shower. Walking inside, some of the lights were left on as well as the TV, making the place feel eerie, as if someone has been home all this time. 

“Alright, what are you gonna do?” Danny asks as he turns the TV off. 

Grace shrugs, “Probably homework.”

Danny nods his head. Grace goes to her room while Danny cleans the kitchen and living room up before heading into the shower. 

The cramps and soreness start to set in since it’s been eighteen hours without Steve nearby. The warm water feels heavenly on his muscles but he knows it’s only a matter of time before it starts to get worse.

When he gets out, he checks his phone and Steve had texted him wanting to know if they want to hang out. He drops his phone back on his bed and starts to find clothes. He takes his time getting dressed, thinking over Steve’s question. His gut reaction was yes, yes let me spend time with you. But Kono’s voice pops into his head: _he did this to you Danny. he keeps hurting you._

Between the heart attack, the residual pain from jumping through that window and the overall emotional rollercoaster that is life when bonded to Steve is more than Danny ever wanted. If Danny did go see Steve, then Grace would also come and the whole possible heart attack might come out and that was a conversation Danny wanted to actively avoid. It would be better to just not see Steve this weekend.

Danny picks up his phone again to tell Steve that they can’t make it over today, that Grace has too much homework and Danny has some chores to do.

Steve never texts back. 

+++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've also realized that I punish these characters more than I needed to in this fic.
> 
> I'm also not a medical expert so take this chapter with a grain of salt.


	9. Chapter 9

Danny is the last one to get into the office on Monday. Steve and Chin aren’t around from what Danny can see, it’s just him and Kono.

“Hey Danny, where have you been?”

“I can barely walk Kono. It’s hard for me to get places quickly.”

A whole weekend without Steve was admittedly a bad idea. One of the worst ones he’s had in a while. His worst decision by far this year is still visiting that fucking volcano. 

He’s been in hell since Sunday afternoon. By then the pain had radiated up from his legs and into his hips and lower abdomen. Thank whatever god or gods were watching that Grace stayed in her room for most of Sunday. The only times she came out, Danny made sure he was already lying down so she wouldn’t see him walking anywhere.

Kono is clearly upset by his answer. She pulls a chair out for him to sit down and rubs his back. “How much pain are you in?”

“Kono, I’m–”

“Don’t say you’re fine. HOW much pain are you in?”

“A lot. A lot of pain.”

“Why didn’t you see Steve this weekend?”

“Because I was mad at him.”

“Danny I know you’re mad at him. I’m even furious with him but you can’t do this to yourself. Going a whole weekend without being near Steve is dangerous. Spending time with him in the office during the week is one thing but you can not go a whole weekend without seeing him.”

“I know Kono, where is he?”

“He and Chin went to talk to Duke about something, they shouldn’t be too much longer. Where is the worst of it? Your knees?” Kono starts to rub them anyway and Danny doesn’t have the heart to tell her to stop because it feels so good.

Within thirty seconds the pain begins to subside and Danny can actually sit up straight. He rolls his shoulders and the pain is even less. “He’s on his way, I can tell he’s getting closer.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, thanks for all that Kono.” Danny says with a hand gesture. She nods in acceptance. “Are you gonna tell him?” she asks.

“About the hospital?” He asks getting up and pushing the chair away from him.

“About the heart attack. Even if the doctors couldn’t find a trace, that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

“I know.”

“The next time could be worse.”

“I know Kono. 

“What if it happens on the job?”

Danny sighs at the woman’s persistence. “Kono… he’s just gonna get upset.”

“Well he should be.”

Steve and Chin turn the corner and Danny locks eyes with Steve immediately. “Heyyy look who decided to show up!” Steve says with a big smile.

Danny puts on a fake smile for their fearless leader. “Steve, he could barely walk this morning,” Kono, coming to his aid immediately, fierce and defensive of Danny. A mix of emotions bleed through Danny’s chest. Mostly guilt with a hint of jealousy. He needs to back track to calm Steve down a bit.

“No, no, I could walk. My knees have just been bothering me lately.”

“They’re still bothering you? Have you told your doctors about them?”

“Uh, yeah, and they’ll be fine. Don’t have to see them for a while.”

“But Danny, you just told me you were gonna see the doctors next week. What was that appointment for again?” Kono asks, playing dumb.

“Uh, oh. You’re right, I forgot. Routine stuff I think.” At this point Kono pinches Danny’s arm and he smacks her hand away from him, obvious to both Steve and Chin.

“You are the worst.” Danny mutters under his breath for only Kono to hear.

“You’ve seen nothing yet.” She hisses right back at him.

“Okay is something going on or?” Chin asks.

Danny looks at Kono, willing her to back down. He did not want to have this conversation with Steve let alone out in the open. Kono looks back at him hard and unyielding. 

Danny sighs again. “Listen, everything is okay, I’m fine but on Friday night I wasn’t feeling well and my chest hurt, I called Kono, we went to the hospital and the docs think I had a heart attack.” 

Both Chin and Steve react as expected, surprised, concerned and speechless. “However, they found no evidence of a heart attack, nothing’s wrong with my blood, and there was no permanent damage so that’s why I wasn’t going to say anything.” Danny says looking at Kono. 

“Well I’m glad you told us,” Chin says. Steve however doesn’t know what to say, judging by his face. 

Kono and Chin walk away to give the commander and his partner some space. 

Surprisingly Danny has yet to feel anything from McGarrett’s side. Steve’s staring at him with his arms crossed on his chest. His muscles look huge, emphasizing his tattoos that shine from his tan. His face looks resolute and impassive but beautiful nonetheless. “Can we talk?” Steve asks, pointing to his office meaning he wants some privacy. 

Danny nods and follows him there, taking a seat. 

“Why didn’t you call me?”

Which is the last thing Danny expected Steve to ask. “What do you mean?”

“When you had a heart attack, why didn’t you call me?” And the gates open up and Danny can feel all of Steve. The hurt, the fear, the anger but the overwhelming sense of betrayal stings like a wasp. 

“I knew you were busy with Cath and I knew I could trust Kono to–”

“Trust Kono? Do you not trust me anymore Danny?”

“No, of course I trust you–”

“And busy with Cath, what, you don’t think I wouldn’t drop everything if you needed me? That I wouldn’t be there for you when you needed help?” The emotional pain from Steve, radiating into Danny, choked up the blonde. 

“No, of course, I -I know you’d be there Steve, I just…” But he doesn’t have an answer for him. And now Danny feels like an asshole. As much as Steve’s been hurting him, Danny’s been pushing him away and someone like Steve can’t lose anymore people in his life. He’s felt the loss of his mother, his father, and his brothers in arms but Danny was constant. He hadn’t physically left Steve’s side but they could both feel Danny pulling away emotionally. Everyone in Steve’s life left him without a choice, and now Danny’s leaving **by** choice.

“And you avoided me all weekend too.” Steve adds waiting for Danny to say anything to explain himself but the detective remains silent.

Steve bites his bottom lip and nods, taking Danny’s silence as an answer. Steve walks out of the office, leaving Danny a mix of his own and Steve’s emotions bubbling inside of him. He can feel his eyes start to water and his face heat up. Danny leaves McGarrett’s office as fast as possible.

+++

Late in the afternoon, Kono finds Danny in inventory looking at old evidence and cases. Evidence lockup, near the interrogation rooms, is in the basement of the building, and about as far away from Steve as he could get in this building with the four floors between them. 

She tries to sneak up on him but when she says boo, Danny doesn’t even flinch.

“I heard you coming from a mile away Ms. Kalakaua.”

“And how are you feeling now?”

“Perfectly fine, and how about yourself?”

“Fine. Are you gonna hang out with Steve tonight?”

He flinches this time at hearing Steve’s name. “No, I wasn’t planning on it.”

“You have to.”

“And why is that?”

“Danny, you know it will make you feel better. Do you like being in pain? Are you a masochist?”

“No Kono but I can usually manage on weeknights.”

“But why suffer? I’m sure Grace was scared seeing you like that this past weekend.”

“After the conversation this morning, I don’t think he wants anything to do with me.”

“He was just butt-hurt you called me for help and not him” Kono mumbles to herself.

“All the more reason he’s not gonna want to see me tonight.”

Kono grumbles and pouts at Danny from where she’s standing. 

“Okay, I’ll think about it. Happy?”

“Not until he accepts you as his soulmate will I be happy.”

“Well it might be a while.”

Danny will acknowledge that she is right but that doesn’t mean he will do what she says. But after this morning and the constant stream of guilt from both sides, Danny knows he needs to make the first move. At 5:30 his body moves on instinct, walking over to Steve and before he can think better, he is already inviting Steve over for dinner.

Danny can tell Steve is not prepared for this. Maybe expecting an apology or a better reason for choosing Kono over Steve but Danny is certainly not gonna apologize to the man who gave him the heart attack. At least not today. But he can offer him the next best thing.

“I’ll make my mom’s bolognese.”

They both know it’s a bribe. But it’s also an olive branch so Steve accepts. 

“C’mon, Grace is waiting for us.”

+++

Walking through the front door with Steve trailing behind him feels … right. They’ve been around each other for most of the day, or at least in the same building and Steve following him home, knowing they will probably make dinner together and eat together as a family has Danny feeling lighter than air. Even after the shitty day they had, being together is ten times better than being apart. 

“Hey Grace!” Danny calls out. A muffled “hi!” can be heard through a few walls and a door. She comes out to see them, surprised at seeing Steve.

“Hey Uncle Steve.” 

“Hey Grace, heard you guys had a rough weekend.” And Grace slides right up to Danny as if not seeing him is enough. She has to feel her father standing next to her to know he’s okay.

“Yeah but good thing Kono was here.” And as soon as the words leave her mouth, Danny knows what Steve assumes. That Kono was already here, that they were hanging out when it happened. When they could have been doing something that more-than-friends do. “So, what are we having for dinner?” She asks.

“Bolognese. So it’ll probably be about an hour.”

+++

Steve and Danny begin preparing the meal. Danny puts Steve to work washing and dicing the tomatoes while Danny gets the rest of the ingredients ready. They work in silence, except for the occasional clatter and hum as the knife hits the cutting board. 

“Are you and Kono together?” Steve asks aggressively and Danny knew this conversation was coming. But if he wants tonight to go well, he better tread carefully. 

“No, a bit young and irresponsible of me to be with her, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes, but I just thought … you’re with her all of the time. And you consistently choose to work with her over me. Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Danny won’t deny Steve’s claims. Because they’re all true. “It’s complicated,” Danny finally answers. 

“What’s so complicated about it? What happened to us?”

And Danny almost can’t believe Steve asked that question. Danny stopped what he was doing and looked up at Steve who was looking at him right back. Steve must have seen something in Danny’s eyes because he repeats his last question again.

And Danny still doesn’t have an answer. He can’t flat out tell him what happened. Danny was not prepared to have that discussion and he’s already dreading the day he will have to. Thankfully, God bless her soul, Grace calls out from her room asking for help with math, the one subject Danny can actually help with. Before he takes a step, he knows Steve is done with this conversation, might not ever bring it up again.

Danny just sighs and mutters to Steve to not burn the food.

+++

After dinner ends, and they clean up, Danny walks Steve out to his vehicle. They put on a fake show for Grace at dinner but it was obvious Steve was still upset with him. When they get to his truck, Steve leans up against it looking at Danny.

He starts to nod his head as if making a decision in his head. “Do you actually have a doctors appointment next week?”

Danny nods his head slowly. “Yeah. Next Thursday at 2pm. It was the only time they could fit me in.”

“Alright. I’m going with you.”

Danny looks at him confused. “Steve, you–”

“You were going to lie and keep this from me. I’m going with you.”

Danny gives him a long look. He doesn’t want to fight and make the situation worse. Doesn’t want to feel Steve’s anger at him. 

His frustrations. 

There’s a deeper feeling of a fading loneliness attached to all of the emotions from Steve that Danny can’t decipher. There’s a sense of loss and heartache that flares up at the edges and pulls back when Danny looks for it. Like it’s trying to keep itself hidden.

Steve climbs into his truck and drives away without looking back. 

Danny almost starts to cry. Being around Steve physically for almost eighteen hours consistently, leaves Danny’s body almost singing from the proximity. But emotionally, Danny feels as if he and Steve broke up. The finality of it dawns on Danny. That conversation they had in the kitchen, where Steve was trying to understand where it all went wrong … the vulnerability there, when Steve started to open up. 

It won’t be happening again anytime soon.

And that hurts the most. Because when Steve opens up, Danny just wants Steve more. 

He sits in his bedroom with the door closed exposing himself bare to the bond. Letting himself feel every part of it. 

When Danny goes to bed that night, he curls in on himself and wishes Steve was right next to him. That he could open his eyes and see Steve trying to fall asleep next to him. And that he could reach out and touch Steve. Move them both around until Danny is curled into Steve’s side with the SEAL’s arms wrapped around him. To be able to tell him everything and that Steve would turn to him and say he wants Danny just as much if not more.

+++


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get up but this chapter is a doozy.

The tension between himself and Steve at work the next morning is palpable. It feels like walking on eggshells. When Kono asked about it, he told her how dinner went. Emotionally raw and depressing. Including the part about Danny and Kono dating. 

“No offense Danny but you’re a bit too old for me.”

“That’s what I told him.”

By the second day’s end, Kono reports back to Danny that Chin has been asking questions too. And Danny can’t feel anything from Steve anymore. It’s like he’s bottled himself up, keeping a tighter lid on his emotions, nothing to feel through the bond to Danny. He was adapting to life with Steve’s emotions and it was easy to know how his partner was doing day to day, hour to hour. But now, the bond is silent which scares Danny the most. Distance still affects him but the lack of emotion makes him feel empty inside.

However, now it seems the cousins have united and they have been working with each other exclusively. Forcing Danny and Steve to work together. The first hour is awkward but once they get focused on the case, it just feels like standard police work.

By the third day, the air around Steve feels easier to breathe in. But when Danny gets into the office, he almost stops dead in his tracks. He lays eyes on Catherine and his heart drops in his chest. He plasters on a fake smile seeing as how it’s only the two of them at the moment.

“Hey Danny, how are ya?”

“I’m good Cath, whats up, what are you doing here?”

“I just needed to see Steve about something.”

“Well he should be in soon,” Danny says checking his watch. He can hear some footsteps nearby and when he looks up it’s Chin and Kono. At least he won’t be alone with her any more. 

Small chat is made until Steve arrives who apparently isn’t expecting to see Catherine either. Steve offers his office to speak in and Danny can’t bear to watch them together. Fortunately for him, Chin stops by with the M.E.’s report which includes the toxicology report and they decide to go talk to a suspect. Walking out, Danny looks back at Steve’s office and he catches him staring as Danny leaves with Chin.

+++

Danny loves Chin. He thinks he is one of the greatest cops Danny has had the pleasure of working with. He also loves Chin because he is thoughtful and reserved and doesn’t stick his nose in his friend’s private lives, unlike Kono who has no reservations for it. Except for now when they are in the car, at that exact moment.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been more spending time with Kono.”

And that’s a loaded statement. “Yeah, I, uh, just needed someone to talk to about some things I’m dealing with and Steve is like a brick wall when it comes to conversations that have any semblance of emotion.” That makes Chin smile.

“Well, I’ve only known Kono to give good advice about surfing and relationships, and the entire state of Hawaii knows you don’t like the water.” Chin says, still with a smile on his face. Danny just shakes his head and grins too because of course Chin would figure it out. “Yes, as embarrassing as it is to admit, I’m talking to your cousin about relationship advice.”

“You know Steve thought there was something more going on.”

Danny sighs outwardly at his partner’s inability to just see his and Kono’s friendship as just that. “Yeah, he mentioned that earlier to me as well. You know for anything else that man is so oblivious to anything that isn’t a Guns and Ammo magazine. But with me, god forbid I spend my time with anyone else besides him.” That makes Chin laugh.

“You give him less credit than he deserves. And Danny, if you need advice for anything that isn’t relationships, you can always come to me.”

Danny nods his head, “Thanks Chin.”

+++

Later, after a day of chasing down leads and Catherine eventually leaving after having a seriously long talk with Steve, Kono and Danny walk on their favorite secluded beach.

“I’ve been thinking, I don’t think Steve is connected through the bond like I am.”

Kono had been lost in her thoughts and didn’t really hear Danny. They haven’t been talking too much, so she let her mind drift like the ocean in front of her.

“What did you say?”

“I don’t think Steve is bonded to me like I am to him. He’s never shown any response to my emotions or my pains so maybe he can’t feel me at all. Which is why he doesn’t realize what he is doing so he’s still with Catherine because he doesn’t love me.”

“Of course Steve loves you.”

“Why did this happen to me?” Danny asks, completely ignoring Kono. “My life was fine before that woman grabbed my hand. I was happy. I had Grace with me finally and work was fine. Yes, maybe the violence and getting shot at was annoying but at the end of the day we were locking up the bad guys and then going home. Now? I’m in constant heartache from my supposed soulmate who shows no fucking interest in me romantically and all I have is talking to you about this crap like a teenage girl!” When Danny looks at Kono her eyes are full of pity.

“And it’s not like I can say anything because if he really does feel nothing then he will think I am certifiably insane and put me in a mental institution far away from him so I can just lie in agony all day from not being physically close to him.”

“How bad is the pain right now?”

“It’s tolerable at the moment.”

“What do you mean tolerable?” and now Kono looks annoyed. Always quick to assign blame to Steve for causing Danny pain.

“I mean the tylenol is barely taking the edge off but I can tolerate it.”

“Danny you shouldn’t have to be in pain at all. Just go be with him. Go to his house and if you don’t want to talk about it then just sit there next to him on his couch and watch a movie or a game.”

“He’s probably with Cath right now.”

A quiet settles over them until Kono bites out, “You know, I know that none of this is Cath’s fault so I shouldn’t blame her but I do. I blame her for how much pain she is putting you through.”

That surprises Danny. “Well I think you could place a little blame on Steve.”

“Oh I have Steve in another category all by himself.”

Danny grins at Kono and her over protectiveness. “You know, this whole situation has brought out a side of you I haven’t seen in a while.”

Kono just smiles at the thought. She surprised herself with how protective and attached to Danny she feels now.

They watch the ocean for a while in silence. “Hey Danny, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“How do you see this ending?”

Danny sighs at her question because he has thought of it too. Almost every night before he falls asleep.

“You can’t possibly live a normal life with this bond. There’s no way you’d be happy with anyone else by your side.”

“I don’t know Kono. I still don’t love him, I know that for sure. I mean he is incredibly attractive, so much so that it sometimes, sometimes takes my breath away but I mean, I thought soulmates were guaranteed love automatically.”

“All we know is that you’re just supposed to be with him. Maybe love just needs time?”

“Maybe.”

“Danny, you need to talk to him. He deserves to know. If he’s supposed to be with you then there's no way he’s truly happy with Cath.”

Danny mulls that over in his head. He doesn’t believe it for a second even though he wishes it were true.

“So you’ll talk with him?”

“Yes Kono, I’ll talk with him.”

+++

“Alright, Mr. Williams and… Mr. McGarrett, what are you doing here?” Dr. Cho asks.

Danny had no intention of helping Steve explain why his work partner is with him at his doctor's appointment. His appointment was for 2 pm but Steve had them leaving the palace by 12:30, much to Danny's complaint. They sat in the waiting room for almost an hour, barely speaking to each other, before they were called back promptly at 2. 

“Officer Williams did not–”

“Seriously? Did you just call me Officer Williams?”

“Report his medical incident to me–”

“I told you didn’t I? You’re sitting right there.”

“So I came to ensure that I receive the full report as to his health and to determine if he can still operate at full capacity.”

The beeping of Danny’s heart rate monitor grew louder with every word. His blood pumping faster through his veins from what Steve is insinuating. That he would bench him just because of this non-existent heart condition. 

“Danny I’m going to need you to calm down so we can get accurate results from your blood work as well as an echo and an MRI of your heart while it’s not stressed. And Mr. McGarrett, do not upset my patient. Or I will have you removed.” She says sternly at Steve.

“A nurse will be in soon to take some blood.” She says, closing the door behind her.

“Fuck you” Danny says to Steve who says nothing back.

Danny closes his eyes and tries to tune Steve out to get his heart rate down before the nurse walks in.

+++

An hour and a half later, the doctor confirms again that Danny’s blood work came back perfect and that there is no damage at all to his heart. And she clears him for his work. All of it. Before Steve can start in on his questions, his phone rings in his pocket.

“McGarrett.” He answers sternly.

“We’re on our way,” he says, hanging up the phone. “It was Duke. We got a situation.”

+++

He hears the sound first. The shot ringing out is almost deafening. But then the pain bites him in the shoulder and brings him back to himself. The pain explodes outward down his arm and through his chest. The metallic bitterness of blood rushes in his mouth. His heart begins to pound and his head begins to ache. Then dozens of emotions flood into his gut like a bursting dam. Everything that was being held back comes rushing in and it takes his breath away. Makes his stomach sour, he wants to vomit. So much so that his legs can’t sustain him and he drops to his knees. Everything moves in slow motion.

Bullets fly out and people start moving. Someone comes to his side. It’s Kono and she’s asking him something. He doesn’t know what she wants but he wants Steve. He needs to see Steve. Now.

His legs shoot up and he’s moving for his partner instinctively. When he rounds the next corner he sees Steve on the ground. The blood from his shoulder wound is fresh and shiny. He stands over him, looking down, not caring about the bullets flying overhead. HPD can handle it. The taste of blood in Danny’s mouth only intensifies from the sight of Steve bleeding. But other than that, the brunette seems to be fine. Steve is struggling to get up but he’s alive. When Danny felt the bite of a phantom bullet in his shoulder, for a split second, he thought Steve was dead or dying. That this was gonna be it. It’s almost too much to bear. 

Kono is at his side again within seconds. Her hands on him, checking to make sure he’s okay. “Danny, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

“Hello? I’m the one who got shot here.” Steve says, confused at Kono’s mothering of Danny. 

Danny takes a hard look at Steve and he can feel his face start to heat up and he knows what’s coming next, the flood of emotions bearing down on him. It’s suffocating. And they’re clawing at him to escape.

He looks at Kono next before Steve can see his partner start to cry. Danny gives Kono a small nod before he can’t help himself and his eyes flicker back to Steve. He’s still oblivious but he does have a bullet in his arm so the medics are already on him, trying to patch him up. The shoot out over. The bad guys dead, wounded, or in handcuffs.

Danny can’t stand to look at Steve any longer and gets into his car and drives away. 

Steve looks at Kono for any explanation but her eyes tell him ‘not here. wait’. 

After Steve gets patched up and HPD has cleared Five-0 to leave, Steve finds Kono. “What the fuck is going on Kono?” 

“Go talk to Danny.”

“No. You clearly know what happened back there. You both spend all your time together, you know what's going on.” He says stepping into her space, looming down at her.

“Go. Talk. To Danny. He’s probably at the beach in the Ahupua'a 'O Kahana State Park on 83. We go there all the time.”

“He took the car.” Steve says, clipped. She can see his anger boiling in his eyes.

“I’ll drop you off.”

+++

They’re less than two minutes away from the beach before either of them say a word.

“I know, you don’t understand what’s going on with Danny. And you’re angry that he’s been confiding in me. But Steve … he cares for _you._ Just you. 

“He’s been carrying this– burden, on his shoulders for the both of you for a while. And I just need you to listen to him.”

+++

Danny can hear the car pull up. Kono probably followed him here, knowing he’d come here to vent. He can hear her walking up next to where he decided to sit in the sand. He tries to wipe away the few tears before she sees him but his eyes are damp red and his face is flushed. 

“Kono, I’d really rather not talk about it. I know I said I would talk to Steve yesterday but I just couldn’t okay?”

A body sits down beside him. “Well then, can we talk right now?” Steve says. 

Danny meets Steve’s eyes and Danny wishes he could disappear into thin air. He can see Steve’s face get softer from seeing that Danny was crying. He looks back out to the ocean. The normal vibrant blue has turned gray to match the sky above them.

“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” Steve asks quietly. The sincerity in his voice makes the embers of his soul glow a bit brighter.

“You are never going to believe me.” Danny barely manages to get out. 

“I promise I will.” Steve replies.

Danny thinks it over, knowing it won’t end well but decides fuck it.

In a big gesture, he takes his pointer finger and presses it as hard as he can into his shoulder where he felt Steve get shot who gasps from the unexpected pain in his newest wound. The bandage even starts to turn red from fresh blood.

“We’re soul bonded. Every time you get hurt, so do I. Like a residual blowback. Sometimes ten-times worse.”

“Danny, what… what are you talking about?”

“Remember that fun trip we all took to that stupid volcano? The one where we both collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital? The one you won’t ever talk about with me?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, a bit unsure.

“Well I was the one to go speak to that lady at the summit and she took my hand and could tell that my Mana was all messed up. That I had too much violence,” which Danny stops and makes a big show of pointing at Steve, “in my life. And that I needed to find my soulmate. Which apparently would be activated the next time I touched them. Which just so happened to be a couple of minutes later when you grabbed me. 

“Turns out, we’re soulmates. And we have been for centuries, or at least the gods decided we should be together a long time ago. Which in and of itself is ridiculous cause I thought there was only one god, which is who I've been praying to all this time.” 

Danny looks over at Steve who seems to be hanging on his every word.

“That’s not the point, point is, is that I’m fucking done Steven. Every time you get hurt, I get hurt. You get shot, it feels like I also get shot. You jump through a window, land on your side, cut your leg up, I feel all of it. And don’t even get me started on the emotions. I know when you're happy, or jealous, which by the way, you are a lot. Fuck, I know when you feel guilty which I can feel right now by the way. And the fucking distance. If I’ve been away from you physically for too long, my body starts to shut down. 

“You know, these past few weeks have been hell for me. Every time I saw you with Catherine or you spoke about Catherine, my heart just shattered.”

“Danny, I’m–”

“I mean Jesus, Steve, I could feel you get hard for her. You continued to choose her over me, your fucking soulmate. But … I don’t know, maybe you’re my soulmate but I’m not yours.” The admission cuts like a knife to his heart. But Danny can also feel Steve get angry beside him.

“Why didn’t you tell me all of this weeks ago?”

“Well you refused to talk about it with me and it’s not like you ever seemed to show any interest in me outside of our friendship.” It was the first thought that came to mind and as soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he should have said anything else.

“I never showed any interest because I thought you were hooking up with Kono.”

Danny can feel himself getting angrier at the accusations. “Hooking up with Kono? We’ve already been over this. I was confiding in her since my fucking soulmate was fucking somebody else.”

“You know that I would have stopped immediately if I knew it was causing you pain.”

“I know you would have Steven. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“What? You liked being in pain?”

“No!” and Danny takes a second for a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be with me out of guilt. I wanted you, my soulmate, to want to be with me.”

And Steve doesn’t respond as they sit in silence. Minutes pass, Danny thinking over the conversation they just had. _at least Steve seems to believe in the soulmate thing._

A light rain starts and Steve is the first to move. “Come back home with me,” Steve says.

Danny almost laughs at the offer. “I don’t want to see her Steve.” 

“Well that’s fine, because she’s not there. In fact we broke up. She’s gone. For good.”

Danny is taken aback by the news and eyes McGarrett suspiciously. “It’ll be just us. I promise.” And Danny still doesn’t move. Steve sighs at his partner’s persistence. “You said distance bothers you. Come over and you can stay the night. Grace too.”

Steve offers his hand to help Danny get up and he takes it. Without another word Danny hands Steve the car keys.

+++

They stop at Danny’s place to get Grace as well as an overnight bag for both of them. Steve hovers near Danny the entire time. Maybe because Steve knows of the distance thing or maybe because he’s waiting for Danny to say he made the whole thing up. Either way his presence is simultaneously calming and unnerving. They both put on a show for Grace, trying to act as normal as possible. Steve even gets Danny to laugh on the car ride over. 

They order Indian for dinner, probably the only good thing to come out of today, Danny thinks. However, once they finish, Grace goes to her room, Mary’s old room, to watch Netflix, leaving Danny and Steve alone. Danny has no interest in continuing the conversation from earlier so he quickly asks Steve to watch a baseball or football game. 

Steve finds one on TV and after he asks if this is acceptable, with a small nod from Danny, they sit in silence. The only noise emanates from the game announcer on TV and the hum of the ceiling fan. Danny does his best to focus on the game and not Steve right next to him. During a commercial break, Steve gets up and walks into the kitchen. Danny can hear him open the fridge and glasses clink together. Steve’s presence next to him had felt suffocating. The air was too thick of emotions with no release. But in his absence, Danny just wants him beside him again. 

Steve comes back to hand him the new beer and Danny’s anxiety spikes but he can’t tell if it’s from him or Steve. 

“Danny?”

_oh god._

“What did you mean that we’ve been with each other for centuries?”

Danny sighs at the question, wishing Steve had just kept quiet. He doesn’t answer right away, thinking over how he should phrase his response. “Remember when Kono and I went back to the volcano that same week?”

“Yeah, I do,” Steve answers accusingly. 

Ignoring Steve’s tone, “We were able to talk to the Leader and basically she alluded that our souls have been together for a long time. Now she never gave an exact date, but … the way she said it, I’m assuming she meant centuries if not longer.” 

Danny could tell Steve wasn’t satisfied with that answer. “Do you remember how I mentioned Mana before?” Steve nodded his head in the affirmative.

“Mana is this ancient Hawaiian belief about how to live your life balanced between violence and peace. But I guess our souls can’t find balance without the other. You my friend, have the violence, which was overshadowing my peaceful nature–” Steve snorts at the comment “– and that’s why we weren’t happy– or at least why I wasn't happy. They have to be … equal.” 

When Danny finishes, the commercials end and Danny puts his full attention back to the game. Steve doesn’t ask anymore questions for the rest of the game. By the time it’s over, Danny feels exhausted and he knows Steve does too. 

“I want to go to bed,” Danny announces to Steve.

Steve nods his head. He gets up but doesn’t take a step. “Stay in my bed tonight Danny, it’ll be more comfortable than the couch.”

Danny can’t believe Steve even offered. “No, Steve, I’m not sleeping in the same bed as you.” 

“Why?”

“Because.”

Steve rolled his eyes at the response. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No. I’m going to take the couch. Go sleep in your own bed Steve.”

Steve looks at him like he wants to put up a fight but he seems to let it go. “I’ll get some bedding.” Which is fine, Danny won’t argue that. He cleans up, makes sure the doors are locked. He goes to the bathroom to change and wash his face from this very long day. By the time he’s done, Steve’s already made the couch up for the blonde. He mutters a thanks but Steve is already turning lights off and heading upstairs. 

The TV is still on but Danny turns the volume down. When he lays down he stretches out his entire body and he realizes he hasn’t felt this good in weeks. Spending all this time with Steve and even sleeping in the same house as him has relaxed his body. His joints feel looser and his muscles feel soft. It’s the best he’s felt going to bed in over a month. But yet he can’t fall asleep. His mind keeps wandering back to Steve and the conversation on the beach. He goes over every line and realizes he probably could have said everything better. It was too messy.

An hour passes and Danny still can’t fall asleep, and he can tell Steve is still awake as well. Not from an emotion, he just knows in his soul that Steve can’t sleep either. 

Another hour passes and Danny can both hear and feel Steve moving around and coming downstairs. 

Danny sighs at Steve’s unwillingness to let anything go for just one night. Steve walks as if he’s trying to keep quiet. _maybe he thinks I’m asleep._ He makes a beeline for the kitchen and Danny can hear the faint sound of water running. Steve moves throughout the house, Danny trying to figure out where he’s going by sound until Steve gets to the backdoor, disables the alarm and slips outside. 

Danny can barely wait thirty seconds before getting up and slipping out the door himself. The moon is almost full and gives off enough light that Danny can see Steve standing at the water’s edge. Danny tries to make enough noise that Steve can hear him coming so that he doesn’t spook the SEAL into tackling him into the sand.

When Danny stops walking, he’s standing close enough to Steve that their arms brush when they sway. The ocean sounds quiet tonight, the waves are barely lapping at the beach and the breeze feels nice against Danny’s skin. For a split second he wonders if Steve wanted to be out here alone. Too late now to just turn around and go back. 

They stand silently together, the quiet eating away at Danny so he speaks first.

“My newest theory about this messed up situation is that if I’m awake, you’re awake. We can’t sleep without the other one as well. I get 5 hours of sleep every night if I’m lucky,” Danny says, speaking quietly, almost in a whisper so as not to disturb the sea. 

Steve nods his head in agreement, “Yeah same for me.” But afterward he falls silent.

“Why did you break up with Catherine?” Danny asks, the question heavy in the air. 

Steve seems to be taken aback by it and takes a while to respond. “She said I was becoming distant, that I was pulling away. And she didn’t want to be putting more effort into a relationship if the other wasn’t even going to try.” 

Danny wonders if he was direct quoting from Catherine’s words.

“I thought I loved her but I didn’t even care that she was ending things... ” 

“I’m sorry,” And Danny truly felt sorry for his friend. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” 

Steve scoffs lightly at Danny’s comment. “I know,” Steve says with sincerity, “You’re my … soulmate. My soulmate. We’re supposed to happen.”

Danny let that hang in the air. _we’re supposed to happen_ and Danny wonders how many times they found each other in the past and how many times they didn’t. It’s something he doesn’t like to think about. It makes him scared for his next lives, if they will be able to find each other again. 

Danny wasn’t sure if that was all Steve was gonna say for the rest of the night or not but seeing as how there was no point in trying to go back to sleep with Steve still out here, Danny didn’t walk away just yet. 

He closes his eyes just to rest them. Lets the wind swirl against him, trying to tune out the sound of the ocean’s constant drum. The wind shifts when his anxiety begins to spike. 

“What’s wrong Steve?” Is all Danny has to say. 

“I… I gave you the heart attack, didn’t I?” Steve asks, he sounds almost desperate. Both of their hearts begin to race. 

Danny opens his eyes, surprised Steve managed to figure that out all on his own. Danny doesn’t know what to say. Telling Steve the truth will only make him more upset but he knows when Danny is lying. 

“Steve-“

“Oh my god,” and the wave of guilt and shame that washes over Danny is enough to make him choke on the thick Hawaiian air. “Oh my god,” Steve repeats. 

“Calm down Steve, calm down–”

“Calm down? Danny I gave you a heart attack, I could have killed you. And all because what? I wasn’t with you? I was with Catherine instead of you?”

“Steve–”

“And you knew it was because of me didn’t you? As it was happening you knew it was from me?”

And that was true, deep down he did know it was happening because of Steve. His heart was slowing down because Steve was with Catherine and not him. His soulmate. “Yeah Steve,” Danny said, his voice barely managing to get the words out. “I knew you were fucking her, I just … knew…” 

“And yet, instead of calling me and telling me to stop, that your soulmate needs you, you call Kono.”

“Yes.” 

Danny watches Steve shake, with anger or sadness he can’t determine. His fists clench and unclench at his sides and for a second, Danny thinks Steve actually might hit him. 

Steve turns to him and leans in to kiss him. It happens in slow-motion but not slow enough that Danny could back out. His left hand cups the back of Danny’s neck and base of his skull, supporting it while his right hand places itself over Danny’s heart. He can feel everything again. Like the world stops just for them as their lips part and tongues slip into their mouths. They bite and push for dominance. Danny feels full of light as he clutches onto Steve’s forearms, anchoring himself to Steve. The skin is hot underneath his hands and where it’s holding onto Danny.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Steve asks quietly after Danny stops for oxygen . They’re only inches apart, sharing each other's air and Steve still hasn’t opened his eyes. Like he’s afraid it would break the moment. 

“I didn’t think you would believe me.” Danny whispers quietly. “That day never seemed to have affected you,” knowing Steve would understand. Steve’s hands clench and unclench again.

“I have thought about that morning everyday since.” And that was news to Danny. “What?”

“I’ll never forget what I felt when I caught you from falling.”

“I was not gonna fall.”

“You were and what happened on that volcano was … ethereal. But I didn’t just forget about it.”

Danny couldn’t find words so he just nodded his head. Steve pulls him in close, wrapping their arms around each other.

“Come to bed with me.”

Danny sighs at Steve’s persistence. A weaker man would take Steve up on his offer. Sleep in his bed together. Side by side. But he can’t be that vulnerable tonight. He feels like he already gave up so much of himself to Steve today he can’t keep going only to be let down. He shakes his head, “No, I can’t.”

“Why not?” 

“I just, can’t. Not tonight Steve. Please.”

Steve looks tired and deflated. “Let’s go inside okay?” Danny asks, wanting to get back on the couch.

Steve starts walking back to the house without giving Danny an answer. Danny follows and watches Steve lock the house up again. As Danny sits down on the couch, Steve starts climbing the stairs but stops on the first landing. 

“You can’t leave tomorrow Danny. You and Grace … can leave Sunday evening. But I need you here tomorrow.” It wasn’t ill-intentioned or a threat in any way. Danny knew Steve didn’t want to be left alone, and even moreso, wanted to be near him. 

“Check on Grace,” was Danny’s response before he laid down and drifted off to sleep as soon as Steve’s head hit the pillow.

+++


	11. Chapter 11

Morning comes fast, too fast, and Danny knows it’s partly from Steve waking up on his normal time. He picks up his watch from where he placed it on the coffee table the previous night. It reads 8:12 AM and he considers joining Steve in bed if that could mean he gets to sleep longer. He hears him get up and start walking around upstairs until he eventually makes his way to the first floor. He spots Danny just starting to sit up. 

“How’d you sleep?”

“Why do you have to wake up so fucking early Steve?” 

Steve sensing Danny’s imminent bad mood announces that he will put coffee on for him. 

He joins Steve in the kitchen a few minutes later, the familiar sound of coffee dripping into the pot and the heavenly smell that wakes him up a little bit more. Danny keeps his eyes averted, not wanting to look at Steve or even speak to him, still annoyed from waking up early on his day off. Once the coffee’s done, Danny makes a move to pour himself a mug but Steve beats him to it and fixes Danny his coffee for him. Danny takes it from Steve with a muttered thank you and walks out to the lanai to sit in the morning sun.

It feels nice to sit with the hot coffee and the sun warming his skin and clothes.

The sliding glass door opens and Steve takes a seat next to him. “Early mornings aren’t that bad Danno.”

Danny Grumbles unintelligently into his coffee, eyes still closed.

“We can take a nap together later Danno.”

He opens his eyes and looks over at Steve. “Together?”

Steve sighs, “seperate places Danno, just at the same time.”

“Fine.” And Danny takes another sip of his coffee. They both take their time finishing their mugs until Grace finally strolls out. 

“Hey Monkey, how did you sleep?” Danny asks as she takes a seat next to him. 

“Fine.” Danny can tell she’s still waking up. Danny looks over at Steve, who notices, then back to Grace. “I was thinking of spending the whole weekend here. Is that okay with you?” He asks his daughter. 

She nods her head. “I brought all the homework I needed.”

Danny looks back over at Steve. His eyes bright. “Alright then.”

+++

The morning drags on, dancing around each other. 

After they take the nap that is promised to Danny, he can feel Steve’s mood change from guilt to anger. He hides it well on the outside but Danny can sense what’s changed inside of him. They make it all the way through dinner until Grace goes back to her room leaving them alone. 

“We need to talk.” Steve says and gets up, leaving dinner still on the table and walks outside. _hopefully Grace won’t hear what’s about to happen_

Danny meets him down by the water’s edge. 

“All last night and this morning I’ve been feeling so god damn guilty for what I put you through. Every part of it–”

“I don’t blame you.” Danny says to try to calm down the situation but Steve spins on him, looks him in the eye, and Danny knows that was the wrong thing to say. 

“That’s fucking bullshit. You blame me for all of this. The entire mess we’re in, you blame me for it. And everytime I made it worse for you, it added to the pile of blame you had on me. If you had told me the goddamn truth, you know none of this would have happened.” His voice getting louder with every sentence. “So why didn’t you tell me?”

“Seriously Steve? We’ve been over this. I didn’t think you would believe me and regardless, I thought you were in love with Catherine.” 

“How could you even think that if we are soulmates? If you believe we’re soulmates, then there’s no way I could ever realistically be happy with anyone else. I mean, that’s the whole point of mana, that we balance each other out?”

“Yes.” Danny answers 

“And you know that I would never hurt you intentionally?”

“Yes.”

“Then **why** didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think I was good enough for you okay? I mean, every time I got hurt I thought how could he not feel what he was doing to me if we’re bonded? How could he not tell he was hurting me unless your side of the bond was broken. Maybe I was your soulmate but you weren’t mine. That that’s why you never felt anything and I was the one being tortured day in and day out. Yes, I did blame you and I know I shouldn’t have, but fuck, once I figured out what was happeneing… I mean, I have never felt more insecure in my life than I did this past month. I had to rethink everything about us.

“You never showed any interest in me before any of this so why would you start now? Besides I would rather have you wanting me on your own terms than thinking you had to be with me and forcing yourself to be happy.

“I didn’t tell you because I was still figuring out how I felt about you,” the honesty making Danny blush. “And I still don’t know how I feel about you.”

“I have never allowed myself to feel anything for you besides a friendship because I was never allowed to feel that way for a man for all of my life. Between my father and the Navy… I never had the option.”

Danny’s heart breaks a little at Steve’s admission.

“And even if I couldn’t feel you, did you ever think about what I was going through? You were pulling away from me, it felt like I was losing my partner who decided to just pick someone else. You were hurting me in your own way. You told me I was the violence and you were the peace. Then where has the peace been this entire time? I felt betrayed.”

Danny can feel his eyes start to water. He clenches his jaw to hold back tears. He hates every part of this. This entire conversation ran away from him and he doesn’t know what to say anymore. He’s tired of arguing with Steve and feeling like a piece of shit. He’s tired of the pain and the emptiness that has haunted him since the volcano. His heart is aching inside of him. 

“I’m sorry,” is all Danny can muster before walking away from Steve back into the house. He starts to clean up the finished dinner they left behind. In less than five minutes he can hear Steve start the Marquis and peel out of the driveway. He takes a big sigh, the silence swallowing him up. He can hear Grace’s door open and her walking down the stairs. “Danno?”

“Yeah babe?”

She walks into the kitchen surprised. “Did Steve just leave?”

“Yeah he did.”

“Where’d he go?”

“I don’t know, but he’ll be back soon.”

+++

An hour passes by. Steve still isn’t home, Grace is in her room, and Danny is trying to watch TV. After ten minutes of Steve leaving, Danny can feel it in his knees, the throbbing, familiar pain that has plagued these past weeks. Every minute that passes the pain continues to rise. At the hour mark his whole body is in agony and his heart feels like it’s crumbling from the inside out. Danny thinks about calling Steve for the hundredth time but if Steve wanted to hear him beg and apologize he wouldn’t have run off. He ran off because he wanted space. 

Danny tries to focus on the movie. Avengers is playing and he watches Iron Man try to clear debris from the shot-out engine turbine while Captain America is fighting the enemy soldiers. But Captain America just reminds him of his Steve and his heart clenches in his chest. He watches Natasha fight Clint while the Hulk and Thor battle it out in the airplane hanger. 

When Banner wakes up in the rubble of an abandoned factory, he can hear the rumble of the Marquis pull in. 

“Danny?” Steve asks as he rushes in the door. He looks panicked but spots the blonde on the couch and rushes over to him. “Danny.”

His hands are all over him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I left you okay?” Steve rests his hand over Danny’s heart while the other keeps moving. Danny covers the hand Steve has on his heart and holds the other one and takes a deep breath in. The pain starts to reside. “I felt you Danny. I felt you this time. I’m so sorry I left. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright Steve, you needed time.”

“I won’t do it again.” Steve sits on the couch next to him, maneuvering them so that they are basically cuddling. Danny would normally disapprove of being the little spoon what with Steve’s arms around him but he doesn’t have the energy. Steve’s absence was debilitating to say the least but he hasn’t let go of his hand yet. 

They watch the rest of the movie and part of the second Avengers that comes on next, making small chat the entire time about the movie. Danny tells Steve that he’s Captain America while Danny is Iron Man, which makes Steve laugh. 

“I’m tired Steve.” Danny says eventually.

Steve turns the TV off leaving them in the dark. “If I asked you to come sleep in my bed tonight would your answer still be no?”

Danny smiles and nods his head yes. “You need to woo me first McGarrett before any of that.”

Now it’s Steve’s turn to smile. “Woo?”

“Yeah. Woo. Or win-over. I want to see smooth dog in action.” 

Steve just smiles and leans in to kiss him. Teasing him with soft kisses and then an assault of hot, wet, dirty kisses that stirs something deep inside Danny. He can’t get enough of him, his hands move all around grabbing as much of Steve that they can reach. 

His moan escapes him quietly but it’s loud enough for Steve. The SEAL rearranges them until he’s lying on top of him. Their mouths never stop moving against each other. 

His soul mate. _His._

His desire unfurls within him, spreading outward. Steve is kissing him like he wants him more than anything. One of his calloused hands pulls on Danny’s hair and he can’t help but thrust his hips forward. Danny feels how hard Steve is for him, only recognizing he’s hard himself. Steve slots his thigh right up between Danny’s hips, pressing against his aching dick. 

“Did you like that Danny? Pulling your hair?” He does it again and his hips jerk against his thick thigh. Steve smiles at him, happy he has found a weakness. “You do, don’t you?” he says, tugging lightly on Danny's hair before diving into his neck. His kisses turn into gentle bites as Danny opens up more for him. 

“Steve” 

“I could pull your hair all night, get you hard and leaking for me. I bet you’re loud aren’t you?” Steve asks as he palms Danny’s dick over top of his jeans. “But you still don’t want to sleep in my bed tonight do you?” Steve asks, getting up from Danny and starting to walk away.

Danny can’t believe his partner, he almost wants to laugh at his situation. “You’re such a tease Steven.”

“Is that a yes?”

Danny smiles at him, shaking his head no. “Complete animal. No Steve. I said woo. You need to woo me.”

It doesn’t seem to phase Steve. He winks at Danny. “I’ll remember that. Goodnight Daniel,” he says walking to the staircase. 

“Goodnight.” 

+++

Sunday goes by much smoother. Grace spends most of the day with them instead of holed up in her room like yesterday. Yet somehow McGarrett is able to sneak in random kisses and playful touches when Grace isn’t looking. He can feel their bond between them humming in happiness with each kiss. Still, every time he looks over at Steve he is filled with deep dreadful longing that he can’t shake. Steve asks him what's wrong a few times but Danny just gives a small smile and a quiet “nothing.”

Before he even notices, dinner is over and Danny has to leave with Grace. 

“Alright Grace, I’ll clean up your dishes if you go pack up,” Danny offers. 

“Okay.” She gets up to go, leaving Steve and Danny alone again. They start bringing the dishes back into the kitchen. Steve starts cleaning while Danny brings in the rest. He takes his spot next to Steve to dry the dishes. The whole afternoon Danny has felt a mess of emotions from both himself and Steve and thinking about leaving him and going back to his house even for just the night sounds dreadful. 

“Steve?”

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t want to go” Danny whispers. Steve stops washing the dishes and looks over at Danny. 

Steve sets the glass down and dries his hands. “I know this weekend has been long,” Danny says keeping his voice low. “And I know it might have created more problems than it solved, but I want to be honest with you… I don’t want to lie or hide things from you anymore. And the idea of going back to my house and waking up alone tomorrow is killing me inside–”

“Then stay.” He says as he gets closer into Danny’s space. His hands cup the back of his neck while Danny’s arms instinctually snake around his waist. It feels good to be this close again. “Stay, and you can sleep in my bed tonight.” Danny drags in a breath and looks away from Steve but the brunette gently guides his head back. “I’ll still sleep on the floor if that makes you more comfortable.” The thought gives Danny a small smile. 

Footsteps walking down the stairs remind them that Grace is still in the house. “Grace needs to sleep in her own bed tonight.” And Steve gives a small nod in understanding. They step apart before Grace enters the kitchen. 

“You ready?”

Grace nods. “I took the sheets off the bed so you wouldn’t have to, Uncle Steve. They’re already in the laundry room.”

Danny smiles at his daughter while Steve thanks her. All three of them head for the door, Grace leading so she can’t see Steve holding Danny’s hand and giving it a squeeze as soon as they walk out the door. 

+++

The night isn’t as bad as Danny feared but it’s still a relief to see Steve in the office the next morning. Kono and Chin haven’t showed up yet so Danny can hold Steve’s hands and stand as close as he wants without any questioning glares yet. Even something as small as holding his hands makes Danny's soul feel lighter.

“I want to take you out on a date on Thursday night.” Steve says authoritatively but also with a smile.

“Oh you do, do you?”

“Yes, very much so.”

“So where do you want to go?”

“I’ve got everything figured out. I’ll pick you up at 7 okay?”

Danny smiles at him. “Alright but I get to pick the next one.”

“Deal.”

+++

Kono steps into his office not long after and closes the door behind her. She makes a face and all Danny has to do is smile and she’s asking “What happened?”

Danny does the best he can recapping the weekend, keeping it short but not forgetting any of the major parts.

“He actually felt you suffering when he left you?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t believe it, but the shame and guilt on his face and everything inside was enough for me to forgive him.”

“Wow.” Kono says nodding her head, taking all of the new information in. Danny lets her absorb it for a little without saying anything more. 

“So what now?” she asks. 

“We’re going on a date on Thursday. Steve’s idea, I have no idea what he’s planning.”

Kono nods in acceptance at Danny’s response. “I’m happy for you Danny.”

“Oh you’re finally happy for me?” 

“Yeah,” Kono says laughing. “Yeah I am.”

+++


	12. Chapter 12

When they’re in the camaro alone together they hold hands the whole time. Danny was never much of a hand holder before and he doubts Steve ever was but he’s just drawn to it. It’s almost instinctual for them he’s finding. And at the end of the day before Steve gets out of the car, Danny brings up their joined hands and kisses Steve’s. Danny can see a hint of a blush on the tops of Steve’s cheeks.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay tonight?”

Danny smiles at Steve’s worriedness. “Yeah babe, I’ll be fine. If I need you I’ll call.”

+++

The following day when they’re driving back to HQ after a successful questioning of an aunt and uncle, Danny tells Steve to pull over. They’re on a dirt road, far from any houses. On one side of them is a fallow field and the other side is trees.

“Can it wait?” Steve asks. Danny just rolls his eyes at his partner. “Would you please stop the car?”

The car pulls over, enough for a passing car to get by. Danny unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to look at Steve who gives him a confused look. Danny leans over and kisses Steve. Danny’s hands are on him too, bringing him closer to the blonde. Steve kisses back with passion, as if he’s been holding back. And Danny thinks he might have been. His wet lips and skilled tongue make Danny never want to pull away. Being near Steve, kissing him, Danny feels more connected to Steve than he’s felt with any other person, including Rachel. 

Being with Steve feels spiritual, like a deep force driving them to be together. “I couldn’t wait for us to get back” Danny speaks, almost in a whisper. 

“I’m glad you didn't,” Steve says breathlessly.

+++

The next time they makeout it’s in the morning. Danny drove over to pick Steve up but purposefully arrived early. The house was silent when he called out for him but he could feel Steve nearby. Something caught his eye outside and when he turned and looked, Steve was walking up to the house from the ocean, still dripping wet. It made his mouth water at the sight of him. All that naked skin.

Stepping outside to meet him, the SEAL’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. Steve’s happiness bubbling up inside Danny makes him feel giddy. 

“Good morning.”

“Good morning Daniel.”

He can’t help but smile at Steve and look at the beautiful man in front of him. His dark tanned skin, glistens in the sunlight emphasizing his tattoos. He can’t look away. He wants to get on his knees for him. 

Steve sees Danny staring and goes over to him to kiss him, keeping his distance so as to not drip on Danny.. But Danny pulls him in close, despite Steve being fresh out of the ocean. Steve takes over the kiss soon after, backing Danny up to a wall so he can press firmly against him. When he pulls away to catch his breath Danny looks mesmerized. 

“You didn’t care that you got wet.”

“I don’t care if it’s from you.”

That makes Steve smile evilly. “I’ll remember you said that.”

“I’m sure you will” before Danny pulls him back down again. 

They’re both late to work but neither of them mind.

+++

“What should I wear for dinner tonight?” Danny asks between kisses. They’re having a harder and harder time keeping their mouths to themselves. 

“Nothing,” Steve answers.

Danny smiles into the kiss. “I think I would get arrested for that.” Steve kisses him again, he can’t stop. Kissing Danny is like getting high, and he never wants to come down.

“Seriously Steve, what should I wear?” Danny asks, pulling away from Steve. 

“Casual is fine.”

“Like Hawaii casual or me casual?”

Steve smiles at Danny’s little joke. “You casual.”

+++

Steve gets Danny at 7 like he promised. He had been with him all day and for the past few years so he couldn’t understand why he was so nervous all of a sudden. He only felt his nerves as soon as he spoke the word ‘date’ outloud to Grace. She had only raised her eyebrows and gave him a face when he told her what he was doing that night. 

_“Is that okay monkey?”_

_“Yeah Danno, it was pretty obvious after this past weekend.”_

And when he saw the truck pull up his heart skipped a beat. _it’s just steve._

_but it is_ **Steve**. 

Danny sighs at himself. And meets Steve halfway down the path. 

“I was gonna knock on your door you know?”

“Yeah I bet you were. I told Grace what we were doing tonight.”

“Oh yeah? What did she say?”

“Apparently you weren’t as sneaky this past weekend with your kisses and grabby hands as you thought.”

“You know I can see her looking out the window at us.” Steve says without looking away from Danny.

Danny goes to look but Steve moves in, bringing Danny’s head back to him and kisses him. Outside. Where everybody can see them. Including his precious daughter. 

“You ready to go now?” Steve asks as their lips part. He doesn’t wait for an answer, just takes Danny’s hand and leads him back to the truck. 

“You’re an animal, you know that?” Danny says. 

Steve opens the truck door for Danny. “You have no idea Danno.” The thoughts that come to mind make his dick jump. _none of that right now._

+++

Their dinner goes amazingly well. It’s so easy being with Steve in this kind of setting Danny realizes. Danny actually deflates a little when the check arrived, he didn’t want it to end so soon. Steve does pay for their dinner though, bringing a smile to Danny’s face.

The ride back to Danny’s is mostly quiet. Steve parks but Danny doesn’t make a move to get out. The clock on the dashboard says it's 9:38 but it feels later than it is. 

Steve takes Danny’s hand in his. “What’s wrong Danny?”

Danny sighs and squeezes Steve’s hand. “I don’t want to go. Which, I know, is crazy. I’m going to be seeing you tomorrow. But I can’t help it.”

Steve squeezes Danny’s hand with a smile. “I’ll miss you too.”

Danny unbuckles himself and brings himself as close as he can to Steve and kisses him. It’s just as passionate as every other time they’ve kissed. Warm and wet and inviting. And Danny can’t get enough. And neither can Steve who is pawing at Danny to bring him closer. 

Danny eventually gathers his resolve to part from Steve but he still looks like he wants more. 

“I’ll call you later. Okay?” Steve says in an effort to satisfy Danny.

Danny gives him a small smile and nods at his offer. He squeezes the SEAL’s hand one last time before exiting the truck. And sure enough, once Danny checked on Grace, took a shower and got into bed, Steve called him.

“Hey”

“Told you I’d call”

“I know, I’m surprised.” 

They talk for almost an hour. Danny keeping his voice down for Grace. They talk about everything and nothing. He can’t remember the last time he spent an hour or more on the phone with someone just to hear their voice. The tiredness starts to creep in.

“I think we’re very tired Steve.”

“Yeah, I can tell … You know I miss you too Danny?”

“Of course Steve.”

“I just … it feels like I always need you next to me.”

“I know the feeling.”

+++

Steve stops by his office almost at 5pm. Danny can tell something’s been bothering Steve all day. He looked like a question was on the tip of his tongue but then Danny would feel anxiety in his chest, knowing that whatever the question was, was making Steve nervous. _I guess Steve finally found his courage._

Danny tries to be as warm as possible to him. He gives him a big smile and a “Hey babe, whats up?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Well Grace is going to a sleepover so I’m free.”

“Come over tonight. We can order dinner.”

Danny just smiles at him and tells him yes.

+++

After dropping off Grace and picking up a 12 pack of beer, Danny walks into Steve’s house excited to be alone with him. He stops short inside the house when he sees what McGarrett is wearing. He’s dressed in one of his best suits. Black with a black button up and tie. It makes Danny’s mouth water and his fingers crave to rip it off of him. His soulmate smiles at Danny and if he couldn’t already feel how nervous he is, he could probably guess. It makes him smile wide at his partner. 

“Hey babe, I’m a bit underdressed. You could have warned me” Danny says, sauntering over to Steve, only stopping a foot away.

“I wanted to woo you. And I think you look perfect” He says with a smile, making Danny blush.

“I’m surprised you didn’t wear your dress blues.”

Steve gets a look in his eyes like he knows something that he didn’t before.

“Are they a turn on for you Danny?” Steve asks smugly. “I can go change if you want.”

Danny can feel what this is doing to them. The air feels electric. One little hint of sex and their bodies go off like rockets.

“No, maybe another time. The black on black was a good call.”

Steve steps closer to him, leaning down as his lips ghost over Danny’s. “I made dinner for us. Steak.”

“I thought you said we would be ordering” he says leaning up to kiss Steve but the SEAL backs out before their lips can meet. 

“Not yet” he says when he sees Danny pouting. “We’re having dinner first.”

He takes his hand and leads him out on the lanai. String lights zig zag above them and candles are lit in their protective glass covers creating a warm glow all around them. 

“Wow.” 

“Do you like it?” Steve says turning off the grill and plating the steak, giving it time to rest. 

“I do.” 

+++

Their meal tastes delicious. Granted, steak, potatoes, and baked broccoli is hard to mess up but Steve really knows what he’s doing.

_yep. he’s a keeper._

Danny glances over at Steve, still in his beautifully black suit, illuminated by the warm glow of the lights and candles and he can’t get enough. He’s tempted to walk over to Steve, sit in his lap and rock into him until Steve pulls his dick out and fucks Danny right here.

He bites his lip, narrowing his eyes at Steve, replaying the fantasy.

Steve gets this look in his eyes like he knows what Danny is thinking about. When he shifts his legs he can start to feel himself get hard. 

“Help me with the dishes?” Steve asks, standing up, picking up some plates and heading inside. 

Danny just sighs and blows out all of the candles. He makes two trips to bring in the remaining dishes, glasses and silverware into Steve. His jacket is gone, with his sleeves rolled up, washing the dishes. 

“Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Mhmm” 

“Why do you insist on washing dishes by hand when you have a dishwasher,” Danny points to the machine two feet away, “right there? Do you just prefer it or …”

“Yeah, I like washing dishes. I like cleaning the kitchen. It’s cathartic.”

“Well that’s good because I hate cleaning the kitchen. Worst chore. I do prefer sweeping, cleaning floors, showers, bathrooms in general, laundry–”

“Danny?”

“Mhmm?

“I’ll take the kitchen and the outside. We can split the bathrooms. And you can do the floors and all the laundry you want when you move in.” He says with a cocky grin.

That makes Danny smile. “First date and already asking me to move in? That wasn’t even a question actually.”

“I don’t hear a no.”

“Well what if I wanted you to move into my house?”

“No. My house is better. We’ll rent out yours and you and Grace can move in here.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

Danny just nods, taking in the conversation. “You know, you’ve taken this whole soul-bonded thing very well.”

“I know. It’s almost like I would have been fine with it the whole time” Steve says sarcastically. 

Danny just rolls his eyes at him and nudges his shoulder with his, playfully. 

Steve moves quickly, caging Danny against the counter, his arms on either side of him. The mood shifts, becoming quieter. They stare at each other, caught up in the closeness.

“I know you think that I would have just dropped everything with Catherine out of duty to you and you know what? You’re right. I would have because this? Being your soulmate. It feels _right_. Like I _have_ been with you for … centuries. Fighting to find you each time.”

Danny looks away from Steve. He can feel him through the bond. His stubborn soul bearing down on him, coaxing them to merge. There is a sadness to it that he can’t place, like their souls are crying out for each other, desperate to be together again. His eyes start to water with tears.

“And I feel so goddamn alone when I think of all the times I never was able to find you.” 

Danny looks up at him confused as his soul aches hearing the truth. Eyes red rimmed and damp. 

“I don’t know how I know that but I do. That for some reason our paths did not cross in some of our lifetimes ago ... and Danny I swear on my life, on all of my lives, that I will never stop looking for you.”

Danny can’t help but surge forward into Steve. Their lips meet and their bodies wrap around each other and their souls sing. 

The world slows down around them, just for the two of them.

Danny lets Steve in, groaning as he tastes him. The sense of nostalgia rushes through both of them as their souls start to push for each other. He tastes heaven in his mouth, a vast wilderness he wants to claim. Explore every inch of what is his and his alone. His hands never stop moving until they rest on the SEAL’s ass, keeping him in place. Their hard dicks slot together and Danny can’t help the whine that comes from his mouth.

“Danny” Steve says, his hands moving into Danny’s hair and then pulling on it eliciting another wanton sound from his soul mate. His pulse beats faster at the raw sound, filling his head with thoughts of Danny moaning all night long. He moves on to ravishing his neck, biting down hard at the juncture, leaving a bruise in his wake. 

“Please, Steve,” Danny gets out before his hair is being pulled again and another moan escapes him. 

“C’mon.” Steve leads them both up the stairs and into his bedroom. It’s different than the last time Danny saw it. The bed is made with a fitted white sheet and only a few pillows to match. Strings of lights run across the ceiling, filling the room with a warm glow that covers the bed. The sense of safety and happiness fills Dany’s soul as he looks around the room.

He turns back around to Steve who stares at him with a hopeful look in his eyes and Danny can’t help but smile back at him. 

“Plannin’ on getting lucky tonight?” Danny asks with a smug smile.

“You have no idea.” He grabs his hands and pulls him back into him, kissing him hard and with a longing he didn’t know he had.

They stumble over to the bed as Danny starts to rid Steve of his clothing.. The tie is on the floor and the black button up is open with Steve’s chest on full display. Danny can’t help but stare, his dick getting impossibly harder in his pants. He grabs at himself for some relief but Steve bats his hand away and crowds into his space.

Steve takes Danny’s shirt in two hands and rips it open, buttons flying off. He pushes it off his shoulders, binding his wrists with it behind his back with one hand. The other comes up to rest at the side of Danny’s neck. 

“Fuck” Danny moans. “I can’t believe you just did that. It was hot but you ruined a good shirt you animal.”

“I couldn’t have you touching yourself.” Steve says with a smile, bringing Danny in for another kiss. 

Steve drops to his knees, his left hand still firmly holding Danny’s, and opens his pants, pulling them down a bit and pulls his dick out. It’s beautifully hard and cut. Steve licks his lips at the sight and takes it in his mouth in one go. 

“Steve, fuck.” 

The SEAL starts to moan loudly around Danny’s dick and he can’t help the small thrust of his hips. Steve grips Danny’s hands harder as he pulls up and swallows him full again. The harmony of the hot wet heat of his mouth, his skillful tongue, and occasional teeth scrape leaves Danny’s knees weak. 

“Steve - I–” Danny whimpers out but Steve is already moving, pulling back, getting Danny’s hands free of his shirt and hoisting him up and on the bed. He pulls Danny’s pants off completely and stares at the sight of the beautifully naked man in front of him. 

He bites his lip and grabs at his clothed erection as Danny starts to sit up. Steve pushes him back down before he goes back to his cock. Sucking just the tip into his mouth before moving on to his balls. Taking them separately in his mouth and humming around them.

Steve’s hands find Danny’s, grasping them tightly before swallowing him back down. His mouth moves fast on his dick, soaking it completely. Danny squeezes his hands tighter as the air around them begins to burn brighter. The lights get stronger as the energy starts to swell.

“Fuck Steve” Danny moans out. Steve’s mouth is electric as his tongue swirls harder against Danny. 

“Steve. I’m gonna–” His orgasm rushing through him, Danny cums hot and quick down Steve’s mouth, the SEAL swallowing all of it. Danny looks at him as his cock pops out of his mouth. He makes grabby hands at Steve and pulls him in. Kissing him hungrily, tasting himself on his tongue. 

Steve can’t help but grind down into Danny, his dick still hard in his pants, eliciting a small gasp from the detective. 

“Danny?”

“Mhmm?”

Steve moves on to his neck, teeth scraping against the skin playfully before biting down. Danny moans, arching his neck further to give Steve more access. 

“Turn over so I can fuck you” he says, slapping the side of Danny’s ass. 

“Nah I wanna see that cock of yours first” Danny says as his hands graze Steve’s erection through his pants. He grabs the waistband pulling Steve closer to him and undoes the pants, pushing them off of his hips. His black boxer briefs are low on his hips and do nothing to hide just how hard he is for Danny. 

The detective licks his lips at the sight, wanting to know what he tastes like. There's a growing wet spot, darkening the black fabric even more. 

It’s slow motion for Steve watching Danny pull off the briefs and taking Steve into his mouth immediately in one long gulp. His tongue flattens under his dick, tracing the vein deftly.

He pushes Steve’s hips back enough until his dick leaves his mouth and Danny can stand up. Steve’s hand move automatically to bring Danny closer to him for a quick kiss before Danny whispers “Now you can fuck me.”

He turns back to the bed getting on his hands and knees for Steve. His brain short-circuits for a few seconds at everything Danny just did and he knows he could give it to him hard and dirty like this. It would be fucking amazing but he wouldn’t get to see his face as he came and Steve refuses to miss out on that.

“No. Not like that.” Steve says before rearranging both of them with him on top of Danny in the middle of the bed.

“I thought you wanted me the other way?”

“I just want this to be perfect for you,” he whispers.

Danny rests a hand on Steve’s jaw, bringing it in close. “Babe, every time we have sex it’s gonna be perfect. Out of this world, mind blowing sex because we’re soulmates. Your dick was made to fuck me.” Danny says softly with a smug smile and palms Steve’s cock for good measure.

The lights in the room flicker around them as their souls start to vibrate.

“It’s gonna be perfect Babe, trust me.”

With that, Steve leans down to kiss Danny and slides a finger in. It goes in easily and Danny hums from pleasure. He thrusts it slowly in and out of him, as Danny spreads his legs wider. Steve smiles into the kiss and focuses on Danny’s tight heat swallowing his finger and the noises his partner is making underneath him.

He adds a second finger and the noises increase. Between the hum and the lights, Steve tries to focus on Danny’s soul. He calls out to it, bringing it closer to his own. He can feel the outer edges of it, grazing against his, like the finger of god reaching out to Adam on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Giving him life.

His third finger slips in accidentally and moans for him even louder.

“Steve, I’m ready, please just fuck me.”

He pulls his fingers out and grips Danny’s thighs, pulling them up to his chest, resting his knees on his shoulders. 

Danny keeps his eyes on Steve’s as he slides all the way into him. His breath is caught in his throat and he knows that stuff is floating and the lights are so bright they are about to burst but Danny can’t look away from Steve. 

Looking in their eyes, they’re brought right back to that day on the volcano. Their souls connect, ebbing and flowing into one another until they merge completely.

“Fuck.” They both say simultaneously. 

Steve slides back out impossibly slow as Danny lets out a long moan until Steve is thrusting back inside. He hits his prostate and Danny cries out in ecstasy. The fire from their souls grows hotter, burning up from the inside out. 

“Steve, you gotta move faster babe.”

He picks up the pace, slamming into him as deep as he can go. He takes Danny’s heavy cock in his hand, pumping it with each stroke of his. Danny shivers underneath him, his hips acting of their own accord, trying to take Steve in deeper.

Their souls burn together in fiery glow. “Fuck Danny, you feel so goddamn perfect. Just like you said.” His heels press against Steve’s back.

“More. More. Please Steve.”

“Danny– fuck, I’m gonna fuck you like this everynight, fill you up, get you moanin’ and screamin’ for me.”

“Goddammit Danny, I want you to fuck me too. I want to feel your thick beautiful dick inside me, make me yours.” 

“You’re already mine Steve.” Danny says, and they climax together. Danny cuming in Steve’s hand and all over his chest as Steve spills hot and long inside Danny, painting his insides. Their souls explode together like fireworks before falling back to earth whimpering from exhaustion. 

Steve pulls out gently and repositions them until he covers most of Danny’s body with his. They breathe in each other's air as their bodies cool down.

Danny looks at Steve, licking his lips and brings him in for a kiss. His hands grip him tightly as if they are afraid he will disappear in front of him. 

“Danny, Danny, it’s okay.” Steve comforts as he senses Danny’s worry.

“You cannot leave me. Ever.”

The SEAL grips Danny’s hip tightly and the side of his neck as well.

“Whatever our souls are made of, yours and mine are the same Daniel. And I’m not going anywhere.”

+++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and yes that is a quote from Emily Brontë at the end.


	13. Chapter 13 - Epilouge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally.
> 
> I figured this was a month or two later, once Danny and Grace moved in permanently with Steve.
> 
> thank you all so much for reading! Like I said this was two years of on and off writing and I'm so happy that I finished it. I know it might be flawed and a little beat up but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. 
> 
> <3

Steve rarely laughs. Like really laughs. The kind of laugh that erupts deep in the belly and you can’t hold back no matter how hard you try. But when he does, those are Danny’s favorites. They are infectious laughs that even trigger Danny’s soul into shining brighter for its mate. It’s volatile nature becomes completely subdued as Danny’s shouts for joy at seeing how thoroughly and unconditionally happy his soul mate is. 

He craves to hear this laugh the most.

Danny is wrapped up in Steve’s arm in their bed as they both shake with laughter in the morning sunlight. The sun drapes the room with its golden tendrils, touching every surface it can reach. 

And they both could not be happier. 

_I love him._

And just like that Danny realizes how much that statement is true. 

_I love him._

_I’m in love with him._

It takes his breath away. A warmth settles over his entire being, like the last piece falling into place.

“I love you.”

Steve smiles at him and pulls him even closer together. He whispers against his lips “I love you too” before dipping down to kiss him. Their souls collide in a fiery passion, exploding into each other. Everything around them energizes as lights begin to flicker and objects start to hover in the air. 

They look around at what they’ve done to their bedroom, smiling at the ridiculousness of it all. 

Steve mouths a silent “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Danny mouths back before pulling him down for another kiss.


End file.
